Fire and Rain
by IzzyWhite
Summary: Jazzlyn's life is turned upside down when her sister dies leaving her daughter in her care. Despite the anger she has felt toward Paul since he got her sister pregnant, she travels to La Push to tell him that he has a daughter. She immediately finds him infuriating while he on the other hand imprints her, will they put aside their differences for Ari?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I paced back and forth across the patch of forest I was standing in, "Momma? I cold!" Ari whined from next to me.

I sent her a slightly annoyed look, then immediately felt guilty as she shied away from me, "I'm sorry, honey, we're going to go inside soon," I said scooping her up in my arms and she immediately buried her face in my neck shivering and she was indeed cold despite the jacket, sweater, two layer pants, scarf, and hat, I had dressed her in.

"Now," she whined.

I sighed taking a deep breath, truth was, we had nowhere to go inside, the closest place we had was a hotel room in Seattle which had yet to be booked, I was praying this would be easier than I knew it would. God, help me now. Basically, Ari, short for Ariella, was my niece. Her mother, my younger sister, had come to La Push, Washington for her senior trip with her friends. Why they chose here, I had no idea… Being her young and stupid self met a guy named Paul, he was a bit of player showed interest and being the insecure girl she was….slept with him, even using a condom and birth control she got pregnant, Paul's sperm must have been superhuman or something, but whatever.

My family was furious with her, she had been accepted to college and was going to have to give it up and stay home which was her ultimate nightmare. My sister had always been young and a bit naïve, and also known to be extremely selfish. I had barely finished from nursing school when Ari was two months old, one night I heard a knock on my door in the middle of the night. I opened it to find Ari wrapped in a blanket with a note on top of her as she cried, it was then I noticed my sister's car driving off.

The note read:

Dear Jazz,

Please don't hate me. I just can't do it anymore. I can't live with mom and dad. I can't stand hearing every single day how much of a disappointment I am, and how they wish I would be more like you. In some ways I hate you for being so damn perfect all the time. I know I am not set to be a mother now, I am going to ruin Ari's life if I keep her, yet I couldn't bear putting her up for adoption. I think I just need some space for a while. Would you watch her for me? I know that is a lot to ask of you, but you are her godmother and the only person in the world I could ever entrust my child with. I couldn't leave her with mom and dad, she'd end up just like us, with a perfection complex and never allowed to fulfill her own dreams. I love you, and I hope I have the strength to come back someday. Don't try and call, I have destroyed my phone, and changed out my license plate. I really appreciate this Jazz, I love you.

Lindy

Not even a month after I received Ari and the letter, my parents and I received a phone call that Lindy had been in a fatal car accident. My parents went ballistic, saying she deserved it for deserting her child and ruining my life as well because unlike her I wasn't selfish. Lindy may have been naïve but she certainly wasn't dumb, she made sure that I was the one who would have custody over her child if anything happened to her.

In some ways, I resented Lindy for putting that type of pressure on me. I wasn't the type of person to abandon my niece nor was I the type to ignore my sister's death wish, so I took on the role as Ari's mother at 22, I had a nursing degree, and was in the midst of getting my practioner license online. Since then, it has been three years since Lindy's death. By choosing to give up my life to raise her child, I had to make some difficult sacrifices.

My boyfriend throughout college cheated on me shortly after Lindy's death as I had spent most of my time with newborn Ari, and hadn't wanted to just dump me because he had no interest in raising someone else's child, and to think we were engaged to married in four months.

I had gotten use to the idea of being alone for the rest of my life, at this point in my life. I didn't need anyone's help. I was Jazzylyn, genius, perfect daughter, and single mother of her niece. Quite the resume I had to say so myself.

I recently decided that I should reveal to the man who destroyed my family, my sister, and my life that he had a daughter. I had no idea if he would take any responsibility, but I knew he at least deserved the right to know she existed, despite how much I hated him for what he had done, so I had done some research, which is how I ended up in La Push, Washington with Ari pacing in the forest next to Paul Lahote's house after parking down the street from his home.

I sighed taking a deep breath before smoothing Ari's hair one last time, it was now or never. I picked up my purse threw it over my shoulder and walked toward the small house before knocking on the door.

"I DON'T WANT WHATEVER YOU'RE SELLING! AND I DON'T ALLOW STRANGERS IN MY HOME!" a guy shouted rudely from behind the door. I frowned thinking of what a great start we were off to.

I continued to knock until the door flew open to reveal a shirtless guy in his boxers and a girl in an oversized t-shirt standing behind him. I gulped Lindy hadn't been lying when she called him attractive. "What the HELL do you want? I'm busy?" he snapped at me.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before looking up at him to meet his eyes which was immediately a mistake, because they were just as green and beautiful as Ari's, and I immediately got lost in them. Shit, us Lansing sisters, definitely had a type.

The guy gulped looking even angrier now, "I SAID WHAT DO YOU WANT!?" he shouted at me which woke up Ari who immediately started to cry.

I sent him the ugliest look I could muster. "Shhh, Ari, honey, don't cry," I whispered in her ear softly fighting the urge to walk off and get back in my car and drive back to Texas.

"Momma, I cold and hungy," she sobbed.

I sucked in a deep breath, before finally speaking to Paul after deciding to lie through my teeth, "My car broke down about a mile back, and we've been walking in the forest, she's freezing cold, and starving, we've been driving for days, if you have a heart at all, would you please let me at least warm her up inside," I asked keeping my voice even.

He growled softly and then the girl touched his arm, "Come on Paulie, let her inside, I love kids!" the girl begged.

"Isn't it time for you to leave, Cindy?" he asked her.

The girl looked like she might cry, "My name is Sarah," she said softly.

"Well, whatever your name is, it's time for you to go," he told her coldly.

She huffed, before turning to me, "My house is about a mile away 2659 Rabbit Lane, if the ass hole won't let you warm your daughter up," she told me sending a glare at Paul as she grabbed her purse and a pair of pants pulling them on.

"My shirt," Paul said coldly.

The look she gave him could kill, she slipped it off and threw it at him her cheeks pink as she pulled her shirt on over her head and ran out of the house in tears humiliated. "I COLD!" Ari screamed once again.

"For God's sake, come inside, so the girl will quit her screaming!" Paul groaned rubbing his head as if it gave him a migraine.

I really shouldn't have come here. I marched right past him into his kitchen and found a bag of chips, Cheetos, Ari's favorite, before sitting on the couch ignoring Paul's remark about paying him for the chips I stole. I opened the bag for Ari, and she immediately stopped crying as she started to eat the Cheetos and I pulled off my own jacket and wrapped her in it.

"How long will this take?" Paul asked rudely.

I frowned at him, and just shook my head, I was regretting all of this, I'm an idiot just like my parents claimed for trying to find Ari's father believing he DESERVED to know about her existence, after meeting him, I knew she'd be better off never knowing him. "You're an ass hole," I informed Paul.

He chuckled, "Is that supposed to be an insult? I mean coming from a teen mother and all?" he asked with a smirk.

I frowned, "I'm 25, thank you," I glared at him.

He did seem a little surprised at that news, "You look like a kid," he retorted.

"I'd rather look like a kid than a steroid using gang member," I informed him.

That seemed to touch a nerve, "Well, you're the one who brought her daughter into a steroid abusing gang member's house!" he said angrily.

"Yeah, because I had so many options," I frowned.

"Well, why didn't you call your husband?" he snapped at me.

"Phone's dead," I lied not wanting to give him the benefit of calling me a whore, even though I was actually a virgin.

Something in Paul seemed to break when I said that, which I didn't understand. "Whatever, hurry up, and that bag of chips was a $1.25 I expect a refund," he told me bitterness in his tone.

I sent him the ugliest look I could muster before digging in my purse and grabbing two dollars and throwing them at him, "Keep the change," I spat.

He didn't seem to like the fact that I actually paid him the money, "I wasn't serious," he replied softly.

I just glared at him, "Could have fooled me," I grumbled glaring at the ceiling when Ari started tugging on my arm.

"Momma, where daddy? You told me we were going see daddy, I want to see daddy," she whined.

Paul legitimately flinched when she asked that for an unknown reason, "We are honey, we just aren't there yet," I told her calmly.

She huffed, "I don't wanna ride no more!" she whined.

I sighed, "Ari…" I whined in the same tone she used, she was my niece after all.

That was when she noticed Paul, "Who you?" she asked jumping out of my lap before I could stop her and rushing over to the large man that was standing in front of us and started pulling on the bottom of his shorts, "You big," she pointed out.

I was a bit shocked when he actually chuckled and picked her up, "My name is Paul, and honey you are just very small," he told her tapping her nose. Crap, he was good with kids.

Ari giggled being her friendly self, "No, you just big," she joked tapping his nose as well.

He shrugged, "Maybe," he told her lightheartedly.

"Did he know momma or daddy, momma?" Ari asked me. Damn, I shouldn't have told her we were in the city her daddy lived in.

Paul looked confused, "Ari!" I warned, but it did nothing because she had taken a liking to her father and turned to him with a big grin, and I just knew she was going to spill the beans.

"Momma, brought me here to see my daddy! I hope he like me! My momma didn't like me, so she ran away, then she died, my paw-paw say she got what she deserve, but momma loves me, and I love her, so its okay, maw-maw says I got the better mommy, but maw-maw and paw-paw don't want me to meet daddy, but momma thinks maybe my daddy will love me too," Ari blabbed away.

Paul was staring at her a bit open mouthed before he looked at me and after one glance at my panicked expression, he knew she was telling the truth, "She's not your daughter?" he asked and of course like always when that question came up my wall went up.

"I raised her therefore she is my daughter," I snapped.

"But she looks like you…." He trailed off.

My eyes shot up to meet his, shocked, no one thought she looked like me, "She's my niece," I whispered.

"Oh," he said softly before turning to Ari who had started to play with Paul's necklace that had a feather and beads on it.

"I'm sorry about your sister," Paul said quietly and I was shocked that he did have a heart after all.

"Thanks," I whispered looking down at my feet before sighing.

"Who is her father, I know everyone that lives here, I can help, I'll also fix up your car, I'm a mechanic, so I'm good with stuff like that," he rambled.

I bit my lip and sighed pulling out her birth certificate from my purse and handing it to him. As if he was a natural with kids he just shrugged her over to his hip, as he opened the file clueless.

He froze the minute he read his name as the father, and his russet skin actually looked a little pale and green, "B-but…I always use…" he trailed off.

Being the blunt person I am, "Apparently your swimmers were strong enough to ignore birth control and a condom according to my sister," I told him.

"You kay?" Ari asked Paul placing a hand on his forehead as if checking if he had a temperature.

"Momma, he warm," she told me worriedly.

Paul was still staring at the file as if he kept reading it the name would disappear. "I-I need to sit down," he whispered and for some reason I felt bad for him. I immediately shook the thoughts out of my head, he had sex with my sister, never called her to check on her, destroyed my family, my life, and was a total ass hole when I met him.

"I can take her," I offered standing up opening my arms for Ari and that was when something must have clicked because he dropped the file in his haste to hug Ari closer to him.

"No," he said quickly.

I put my hands up as if to say I wasn't going to steal her as I sat back down. I watched silently as he stared at her smoothing her hair, and brushing his thumb against her cheek, while Ari reveled in the attention she was after all my sister's daughter.

"She's so beautiful," he said softly and I noticed him quickly wipe a tear from the corner of his eye as if embarrassed of the emotion.

I didn't comment as I let him have his moment with her. Ari quickly became bored with him just stroking her cheek and hair, and just curled into him and lifted up her shirt, "Draw," she commanded and he looked at me questioningly.

I quickly drew on my arm with my nail as an example and he nodded gently drawing on her back. "Momma, can we keep him?" Ari asked contentedly.

I actually chuckled, "Honey, Paul, isn't a pet," I told her.

"But he draw better than you," she said sassily whining a bit.

Paul looked a bit triumphant and even I had to admit it was a bit adorable. "Well, I guess that means I won't have to draw on you anymore, since apparently my skills aren't up to your satisfaction," I teased Ari and she gasped sitting up, and shook her head no wildly.

"NO, MOMMA, you draw good! He just draw great!" she told me adorably.

I chuckled, "Okay, okay, I'll still draw, I guess," I teased her.

She nodded, happily before crawling back into her first position, "Can he go with us to meet daddy?" she asked me.

I froze as did Paul, before he looked at me asking what he needed to do. An inner panic rose in my stomach, sure Paul seemed to like Ari, but that was right this moment, that didn't mean that he wanted to be a key member of her life, and I didn't want him breaking her heart like he broke my sister's, she already thought her mom didn't love her thanks to my dad and mother, despite what I tried to tell her. She was so hopeful that her dad would love her, she kept talking about it the entire ride here, asking me time and time again if her daddy would like her. I was hyperventilating at this point, what had I done?

Paul seemed to take my indecision and panic and turn it into his own decision as he said, "Ari?" he whispered softly and she looked up at him.

What was he doing? No, do not tell her that you're her father, Paul Lahote, I don't know if you are going to stick around yet….no, no, no, this was not the plan, the plan was for you to let me in, Ari to still be asleep as I passed you the folder and then I interrogated him until I knew for sure he'd be a good father.

"Huh?" she questioned adorably.

"I am your daddy," he told her smoothing her hair.

Ari grinned widely, but then her face fell, "Do you like me?" she questioned.

He chuckled and kissed her forehead, "I love you honey," he told her without any doubt in her tone.

"I love you too daddy," Ari squealed hugging him tightly around the neck happily and I saw a few tears fall from Paul's eyes, and in that moment I knew I had made the right decision.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Paul and Ari were still having their sweet moment when my phone started to ring, and I felt absolutely horrible that I forgot to turn it on silent. I pulled it out quickly and saw that it was my mother. "Sorry," I whispered before entering the kitchen and answering the phone call.

"Yes?" I whispered.

"Are you there yet?" my mother asked annoyingly.

"Yes, I am, I texted you," I told her.

"I never got it," she told me.

"Sorry," I said honestly not in the mood for a fight about if I sent it or not.

"Well?" she questioned.

"Ari and Paul are bonding, she likes him, he seems to like her too from what I can tell," I told her.

"Please tell me she doesn't know that he is her father," she begged.

"He told her, and it kind of made her really happy, so…." I trailed off.

"JAZZLYN EILEEN! That was NOT supposed to happen, those were the rules, you were going to meet with him, and see if he was good enough to be in Ari's life. He's only going to hurt her! He's some savage lowlife! Probably doesn't have a job, and just sleeps with girls! I doubt he's married," she shouted into the phone.

I was silent, "Mom, it doesn't matter if we like him or not," I snapped, "Ari needs a father in her life, and it's wrong despite what he has done to keep the knowledge of her existence from him," I told her.

"Sure, tell him he's her father, but he does not deserve to be the father figure, your dad does! Or Nathan! Nathan LOVES Ari, she loves him, you're the perfect little family! Why did you have to complicate everything?" she shouted at me.

"Mother, Nathan is not her father, Paul is, and I'd rather take a risk like this than to live my whole life hiding who her father is from her, only to have her hate me, and it's not your decision," I told her annoyed that she brought up Nathan. Nathan was my best friend and the only guy who has stuck by me through everything. He was gay as a two dollar bill, but not open about it yet. My mother was obsessed with idea of us together. My father called him fruity.

"Of course it isn't, because your sister handed her over to you, stupidly, ruining your life, did you forget that? Or are you just looking for escape? Going to betray your blood like your sister and leave baby Ari with that man hoping for the best?" she snapped at me.

I stiffened at her words, "My sister did not BETRAY anyone, and secondly Ari has NOT ruined my life, she has only made it better, I love her more than anything or anyone else in this world, I would die before I gave her up," I growled.

"I know you aren't like your sister, hon, that was just my anger speaking," she said sweetly.

I frowned, "Well, now my anger is speaking mother, goodbye and don't call me again," I snapped hanging up and turning my phone off for good measure.

I turned around to see Paul staring at me as if he heard every single word. I sucked in a deep breath before placing a neutral expression on my face and put my phone back in my purse.

"Momma, can I call Nay Nay? I want to tell him I met daddy," she said obviously having noticed my phone.

I fought back a groan as I glanced at the time noticing he would have just been getting home from his rotations. He was a vet, which Ari thought was the coolest thing in the world. "Sure, hon," I sighed turning my phone back on before handing it to her knowing she knew his number by heart and would throw a fit if I didn't let her dial it herself.

"NAY NAY!" she squealed into the phone once he answered.

He must have said something to amuse her in response because she giggled, "Nooooo, silly Nay Nay, it your princess, remember me Ari!"

Paul looked slightly uncomfortably obviously thinking that Nathan was my husband, but I wasn't going to change that. Ari squealed at something Nathan said, "Nay Nay! Guess what!?" she asked him.

I could picture him getting into it and saying with an excited face, WHAT!? "I MET DADDY! HE HAVE GWEEN EYES JUST LIKE ME! AND HE BIG! HE ALSO DWAW ON MY BACK! HE LOVE ME!" she told him excitedly and I couldn't help but chuckle.

Nathan must have said something funny because she giggled, "Of course not Nay Nay! I still love you! You my Nay Nay!" she told him.

She grinned, "Did you buy me a horsie!?" she asked him and I face palmed.

"A MONKEY!" she squealed.

OH HELL NO! "Ari, say goodbye, and hand the phone to momma," I said panicked.

"I'M GONNA NAME HIM GEORGE!" she squealed ignoring me as I held my hand out for the phone.

"Arielle Georgia," I warned.

"Momma, wants to hear about George too!" she giggled, and he must have told her he loved her and missed her.

"I love you too Nay Nay, tell George I love him!" she said as I took the phone from him.

"Nathan, I swear if you brought home a monkey," I said in a very unhappy tone.

"Chillax, George is cool, and it's for like a month, I'm babysitting, I'm not dumb enough to bring a monkey home and not tell you," he told me.

"I know you a little too well, a month will turn into two…." I started.

"And then by that point you will love the monkey just as much as Ari and I," he joked and I frowned.

"I can't believe you brought home a monkey," I growled at him.

"I needed someone to keep me company, my two girls are gone," he told me.

"If you wanted company then you should call my mom over," I teased him.

"I prefer the monkey," he said sassily.

"Yeah, honestly I would too, did she text you?" I asked him.

"Yes, sent me a long winded texted about talking sense into you," he chuckled.

I smiled, "Surprised she didn't call you," I teased him.

"Oh she did, three times, I just ignored them," he chuckled.

"I wish I would have been that smart," I sighed.

"Sucks," Nathan joked.

I smiled, I missed him already, "Good day at work?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I got to play with a monkey," he told me excitedly like the little kid he was.

I giggled, "You're adorable," I told him.

"I try, is it beautiful up there?" he asked.

"Yeah it is," I told him.

"Is he as pretty as she claimed?" he joked.

I scoffed, "Ari has his eyes as she said, otherwise he is totally her type," I told him.

"So Zayn Malik pretty?" he joked and I laughed.

"Eh…." I trailed off.

"So in Jazzland he's pretty much the epitome of beauty," he teased.

"Oh puh-lease," I joked.

"Hey, hey, it's okay to look, just don't fall in love with him like your sister did, I don't want to die alone," he teased.

I scoffed, "Fat chance of that happening," I teased him.

"I love you, come home soon, but not too soon, he deserves some time with her," he told me.

I nodded, "I love you too, and I miss you like mad, and I know, I have a level head about the thing," I told him.

"Good, well I'll let you go babe, talk to you later," he told me.

"Don't let the monkey destroy the house," I warned.

Nathan chuckled, "Bye Jazz," he teased.

"Bye," I giggled hanging up smiling he always knew how to cheer me up.

I looked over at Ari and Paul, I must have been on the phone longer than I thought because Ari had totally passed out on Paul's lap. "I'm so sorry, you can wake her up…" I started.

"No, she's fine," he told me quickly continuing to stroke her hair.

"Okay…" I trailed off.

"Where are you both staying at the moment?" he asked me.

I bit my lip, honestly, I was going to find a hotel in Port Angeles, "I was going to book a hotel in Port Angeles after I told you and found out if I needed to turn back around to Texas or…" I trailed off.

"You both can stay here, call me selfish, but I've already missed three years, I don't want to miss another minute," he said softly.

I bit my lip, "I'm sorry, she didn't tell you," I told him.

He was silent, "She called leaving a message that she was pregnant, I honestly thought she was lying to try and get me to call her back, it wouldn't be the first time a girl tried that… I feel like the worst person in the world, now," he whispered.

I didn't know she had left him a message saying she was pregnant, that made me hate him a little more. "You didn't feel like it was worth even a call back?" I asked.

"I used a condom and she was on birth control! I didn't think there was any way…" he trailed off.

I sighed, I knew I couldn't blame him for that, "There's always that 1 percent," I snapped anyway.

"Trust me, if I had any idea that she was really pregnant with my child I would have done whatever I needed to, to be a part of my child's life," he told me and honesty dripped from every word.

The way he said that worried me, "No offense, Paul, but you do realize I have custody of her, and I have no plans of letting her go," I told him knowing that I probably sounded like a bit of a bitch.

His arms tightened around her, "I'm not going to take her from you, I realize that for all intents and purposes you are her mother, you have custody I respect that, but if you think that I'm going to let you take my child and walk out of my life, then you are completely wrong there," he told me seriously.

I was silent, "I live in Texas…" I trailed off.

"And I live in La Push," he said.

I groaned, burying my head in my hands, "Didn't you think this out at all?" Paul asked me.

"Honestly, I figured you'd love her, and then we'd make some deal where you'd get to have her for summers or something, I didn't think that…." I trailed off.

"That I would actually want to raise my daughter?" he questioned.

I was silent and he sighed, "I'm not willing to settle for just summers, both of us are going to have to make some sacrifices, but I'm willing to try and make it work if you are," he said.

I looked up and sighed, "I'll try, just promise me something?" I whispered.

"What?" he asked.

"Please don't break her heart?" I begged.

He scoffed, "I may be a heartbreaker, but I would never hurt my daughter," he told me seriously.

I breathed in relief and as I saw the way he looked at her I knew he meant it, "What really happened?" he asked softly.

I sighed, "Basically you got her pregnant she came home to her super strict parents found out she was pregnant and freaked out. I would not let her even think of aborting the child as I'm a strong pro-life believer, and slowly but surely I got her excited for the child, despite my parents very strong opinions. When she had Ari, I thought it was finally going to turn everything around, but she was living with our parents….and Lindy had never had a very strong relationship with them. They compared her to me, which wasn't fair, because her and I are total opposites, and then they kept telling her that she betrayed and destroyed the family…. Eventually she cracked from the remarks of being told she wasn't going to be a good mother and that she'd fail her daughter, that she'd never be as 'perfect' as me," I sniffled on the last word wiping a tear that threatened to fall.

"She packed up one night grabbed Ari, and left her on my doorstep with a note saying that she put her in my custody and just needed some time, and that no matter what happens she did not want her daughter in my parents custody. I was to be her sole caretaker. A month later we got word that she was in a fatal car accident. My parents claimed she deserved it, which about destroyed me, they brought me to court hoping to get custody of Ari, but Lindy had made some pretty intense custody arrangements. She wasn't dumb. I got custody of Ari, but with that I had to make lots of sacrifices including visiting my parents much more than I would have liked and having to have them as members in Ari's life. They are the ones that told her that her mom didn't love her, they tell her all sorts of horrible things about her and it kills me. So yeah, that's the story," I told him.

"Wow," he whispered.

I nodded and shrugged, "It's intense I know," I replied.

"Thank you for fighting for my daughter," he told me.

I blinked surprised, "Your welcome," I said.

"And now it's my turn to return the favor and fight for her as well," he told me.

"Not with me," I pleaded.

He shook his head no, "I don't plan on abusing the fact that you are the only reason I know of her existence, I don't hold that lightly," he told me, and I breathed in relief. That was my biggest worry coming into this, scared that he'd bring me to court and take her away from me, because I knew he'd win, father trumps aunt any day, especially one who didn't know that his daughter existed. I could only pray that he kept his word, and that scared the shit out of me.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Paul gave up his bed for me to sleep in, which of course got us into another argument, I had a feeling that Paul and I were going to be practically fire and rain, polar opposites. He ended up winning because I was really tired from our long drive, but in return I told him that Ari could sleep with him, which he happily obliged.

I must have fallen asleep the minute my head hit the pillow, when I woke up it was around 8 AM which was extremely early for me, but the time I tried to wake up so that I could make Ari breakfast. I quickly got dressed not worrying about make-up or fixing my hair for that matter, it wasn't like I was trying to impress Paul no matter how attractive he was.

I tiptoed into the living room to find the cutest sight I had ever seen. Ari was lying on Paul's chest looking like she hadn't been on a more comfortable bed in her life and he had his arms wrapped around her protectively as if he planned to never let her go. I smiled slightly before tiptoeing into the kitchen to see if he had any type of food which being a male he totally didn't. I quickly scribbled a note that I was going to the grocery store and put it on the table next to them before going to my car and driving there quickly.

"Morning!" a lady said cheerfully to me as I walked in. I smiled at her trying not to stare at the three scars going down her face.

"Morning!" I said with a grin back.

"Visit to the beach?" she asked.

I chuckled, "No just visiting a family friend," I told her knowing that it was a small town and people would probably gossip otherwise.

"Oh! Who are you visiting?" she asked in a friendly way as I grabbed some eggs, bacon, and bread along with the ingredients for muffins.

"Paul Lahote," I said simply.

She was silent for a moment, "Paul Lahote? I didn't know he had any family friends… and he and my husband are best friends," she told me.

Crap. "He and I aren't that close, he was closer with my sister," I told her.

"Oh, are you staying with him?" she asked me.

"Yeah, we got there last night," I told her.

"Well, that's nice, tell him to bring you by the house then! I fix dinner for the boys practically every night! You're welcome to come!" she said with a smile, "I'm always looking for some girl company, a bunch of them have girlfriends, and we practically have a girlfriends club," she joked with good humor as she checked me out.

"I'd be happy to come, we're staying for a little while, so it'd be nice to know someone other than Paul, I already feel suffocated, he's quite moody," I commented.

She chuckled, "He's got a heart of gold hidden in there, don't let his mood swings fool you, they are just a cover, he's really a sweetheart! Tell him Emily said hi!" she told me with a grin pulling me into a hug as I left. Gosh, I loved this small town feel.

I went back to the house to find them both still asleep and chuckled throwing the note away and started to make the eggs, bacon, and toast saving muffins for a later day. Right when everything was about finished I heard Paul say, "Is that just for Ari?" he asked in a tone that begged it wasn't.

"Yes, you will have to starve," I teased him, and he grinned trying to steal a piece of bacon which I immediately swatted his hand away. "You can have some, but wait till it's done," I ordered.

"Yes maim," he sighed as Ari reached for me sleepily after clinging to Paul's neck for so long.

I took her from him, which he didn't seem too happy about but obliged anyway, "Morning sweetheart, did you sleep well?" I asked.

She nodded resting her head on my shoulder. "You hungry?" I asked her.

She nodded again, with droopy eyes, I kissed her forehead keeping her on my hip as I quickly finished up placing an equal amount of food on both Ari and my plate before putting the rest on Paul's. I handed him his plate and then set Ari down in a chair in between us before putting her plate down in front of her. "What do you want to drink, love?" I asked her.

"Juice!" she said.

I nodded, grabbing a cup and filling it with orange juice for both of us before glancing at Paul to find that he already had a carton of milk in front of him, I just shook my head before putting the juice back in the refrigerator and put the cup down in front of Ari who was already digging in on her food. Ari was the life of the table telling Paul all sorts of stories, "And one time Nay Nay brought me to ride on a horse! It was HUGE! And this other time Momma, Nay Nay, and I went and met Mickey Mouse!" she said excitedly.

"You went to Disney World!" Paul asked her excitedly, "I'm jealous, I've never gotten to meet Mickey Mouse!" he said pouting at her jokingly. How had Paul never been to Disney? Every kid has to go to Disney ONCE!

"I also got to meet Elsa, Anna, Belle, Jasmine, and Ariel!" she squealed.

"Who's your favorite princess?" he asked her.

"BELLE!" she squealed, "She's momma's favorite too, but Aladdin is momma and my favorite prince!" she told him.

"Aladdin is my favorite Disney movie!" he exclaimed to her.

She gasped as if that was the biggest news in the world! "MOMMA CAN WE WATCH IT! PLEASEEEE!" she begged.

"Sure, sweetie, we can later!" I promised her.

"NOW!" Paul and her both chorused at the same time.

I gave Paul the stink eye and he smirked at me, "Neither of you are dressed, maybe after you get dressed," I told Ari.

She squealed standing up and grabbing my hand, "Lets go, lets go, lets go," she said tugging at me.

"Hold on Ari, I have to clean up first," I told her.

"Go, I'll clean up, you made breakfast, she'll probably take longer anyway," he told me.

"Thanks," I told him standing up and allowing myself to be tugged away from the kitchen before I tugged her to the bathroom where I had already laid out an outfit for her. She squirmed as I dressed her quickly and made her brush her teeth before I started to braid her hair as she begged me to.

"You like your daddy?" I asked her.

She nodded, "He kept the bad dreams away and looked under the bed for monsters, I love him, can he come home with us?" she asked me adorably looking at me with puppy eyes.

"I'm not sure sweetie, he has a life here, but we'll make sure you get to see him ALL the time," I promised her.

"I want him to live with Nay Nay, you, and me," she pouted.

I sighed, "We'll see honey," I told her honestly not knowing how to respond.

"Okay, I love daddy, can I sleep with him again tonight?" she asked hopefully.

"Sure honey, if you want to," I told her.

She squealed trying to hop down from the counter and I easily caught her and set her back on the ground before she squealed racing out of the bathroom. I sighed shaking my head, god I loved that girl. I smiled turning out the light and leaving the bathroom to find her already on the couch with Paul snuggled in his lap. He was now wearing jean shorts, but was still without any shirt whatsoever. "I told you to get dressed," I sighed sitting down next to him.

"I am dressed, I never wear a shirt," he told me with a shrug.

I just shook my head not in the mood for a fight. I grabbed a pillow and snuggled into it by curling my knees to my chest. While Paul was setting up the movie, I thought of Emily. "I met Emily today, she's sweet," I told him.

"Yeah, nicest person in the world. She's practically my sister, what'd you tell her?" he asked me as if not caring if I had told her everything.

"Just that we were visiting a family friend and that family friend was you, I was kind of vague, didn't want to start gossip," I told him.

He shrugged, "I'm bringing you both to Emily's tonight, so they'll know the truth, but thanks for trying," he offered.

"Oh, okay, yeah she mentioned that," I told him.

"Yeah, she's a brilliant cook," he told me simply.

I bit my lip, "If you want to just bring Ari that's fine…" I trailed off.

"Emily would never forgive me if I left you here by yourself, you're welcome to come, you're Ari's mom in my eyes, so you kind of need to go," he told me.

I sighed nodding, I had always felt uncomfortable in large groups where everyone thought I was a teenage mother. "It's pretty chill, don't worry about it," Paul told me.

I just nodded again and the movie began to play and we watched in silence other than Ari singing every song perfectly and Paul sang a few with her to add to the adorableness. We made sandwiches for lunch and once again Ari was the life of the party babbling on about complete nonsense and Paul just listened and hung onto every word. I'll admit he was definitely good with kids.

Around dinnertime, I let Paul and Ari have some time alone as I freshened up and actually somewhat fixed my hair and put on a little make-up. I then went back out to find Ari and Paul whispering to each other and making adorable gasp faces. Paul looked up at me and totally checked me out which I completely ignored, "You ready?" he asked.

I nodded, and he scooped up Ari before bring her to his car before realizing she didn't have a car seat, "I'll drive," I offered hopping in my car.

"I thought your car broke down…." he trailed off before realizing that had been a lie.

"You lied to me," he frowned.

"Yeah, because you totally walk into someone's house by telling them they are the father of the sleeping child they hold in their arms," I said sarcastically.

"I would have let you in quicker," he told me.

I scoffed, "Sure you would have, you didn't even let a girl whose car broke down a mile away with a sleeping and freezing child into your house," I told him bitterly.

"I don't like strangers," he retorted.

"Whatever," I said with an eye roll once again annoyed with him, "You were a jerk admit it," I said careful not to say a bad word in front of Ari.

"I was not, I let you in didn't I?" he asked.

"After YELLING at me!" I said shocked at his unapologetic stance.

"Yeah, well you were interrupting," he told me.

"Oops, sorry I interrupted your sex life by knocking on the door so that I could introduce you to your daughter," I growled angrily.

"Oh come on, you know that's not what I meant," he told me.

I just frowned, "I'm done with this conversation, the less we talk the better we get along," I grumbled unhappily.

"Whatever," he said mocking me from earlier as I drove the rest of the way him only giving me direction while Ari sang at the top of her lungs. We finally reached a little red house that was probably the most adorable thing I'd ever seen. Paul carried Ari on his hip, before walking into the house.

The minute we walked in every single eye turned to stare at us as if we were aliens from another planet. "Why the hell is Paul holding a child that looks like him?" one guy asked him.

Paul sighed, "This is my daughter Ari, and this is her mom Jazz," he told them and I watched as one by one all of their jaws dropped to the floor.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"YOU HAVE A FUCKING KID!?" one guy shouted and as if on instinct I covered Ari's ears.

"Momma," Ari whined reaching for me not liking the fact there were so many people in the room and that they were all staring at her.

I took her from Paul who gave me an apologetic look while Ari buried her face in my neck hiding in my bushy curls. "Language, there are children present," Paul said to the guy his tone of voice much like it was when we first met.

"May I see her Jazz?" Emily asked being the angel she was walking towards me and giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek before she coaxed Ari to look at her who was pouting as she didn't like when people shouted.

"What's your name, honey? I like your dress!" Emily complimented.

Ari smiled at her immediately liking her, "Ari," she said softly.

"Well, you are just gorgeous! I have a son named Lucas, would you like to go play with him?" she asked her.

Ari never had children her age to play with, so she looked up at me with pleading eyes, "Can we go play with him?" she asked me.

"Sure honey, why don't you go with Emily and then I'll join you soon," I promised her.

She nodded reaching out for Emily and she winked at me before hurrying off with Ari to another room. "What the fuck man? You got a girl pregnant and didn't tell anyone?!" one guy asked.

"It's not like I fucking knew!" Paul shouted angrily.

"YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM HE HAD A CHILD!?" some guy shouted pointed in my direction now, "BITCH!"

I flinched, and as if on instinct stepped behind Paul. "JARED! ENOUGH!" some bigger guy exclaimed and that silenced him.

"Paul would you please explain what is going on here?" he asked.

He groaned, "This is Jazz, she's from Texas, her sister came here for vacation one summer, and I fucked her basically, used a condom and she claimed to be on birth control. Apparently she got pregnant, she was eighteen, a month after the baby was born she ran away leaving the baby with Jazz here. A month later she was in a fatal car accident, leaving Jazz in full custody of Ari," Paul said quickly looking uncomfortable.

"Did you know who the father was?" the Jared from before snapped at me still unhappy.

I gulped, "Yes, but my parents were strong supporters in not involving him, and they already brought me to court once trying to steal Ari, I was scared if I tried to involve Paul that would put some target on my back. After talking to a bunch of lawyers, I kind of secured custody after three years, and got all the information on Paul before I came here. I honestly came as soon as I could," I said softly.

They were silent, "Wow, you're kind of amazing Jazz," a girl said standing next to one of the guys.

I blushed, "I care about Ari, and she already grew up without her mother, I wanted her to have her father around if possible," I said.

"No, I mean, taking her in, you can't be that old yourself, I mean I know she's your niece and all, but your parents taking her would have made your life easier…" the girl trailed off.

"It was my sister's dying wish, I'm actually 25," I told her.

"Still," the girl said in awe.

I just shook my head feeling uncomfortable, I felt like all these people were judging me, for not involving Paul sooner, but they didn't see it the way I did. He was some guy who knocked up my sister then didn't even call her back, he was a player, and I knew it wasn't fair but I blamed him for causing my sister to go off the rails, for her death, for our family falling apart, if he hadn't knocked up my sister, or even called her back, none of that would have happened. I don't wish it never happening because I gained Ari, and I couldn't imagine life without her, but I definitely had some misgivings.

"I'm going to go check on Ari," I whispered to Paul not even glancing at him as I went through the door Emily had gone through. I found her after searching a few rooms and she was playing with Emily's son Lucas looking extremely happy to have a playmate her age.

"Hey hon, you okay?" Emily asked me pulling me down next to her in a hug.

"Not really, all those guys were judging me for not telling Paul sooner, and I couldn't take it, they don't understand…" I whispered feeling like I could tell Emily anything.

"Guys don't understand what a mother feels toward her child the connection she has. We carry them for 9 months…." She whispered which made me tear up remembering that Emily didn't know that I wasn't her real mother.

"Ari's my niece, Emily, Paul knocked my sister up on her senior vacation, she called and called him, and he never called back, my parents are these extremely uptight people who believe everything needs to happen traditionally after a strong foundation of college and then graduate school. They went ballistic, they wanted her to abort, Emily," I said starting to sob.

"Oh honey," she whispered hugging me bringing me out into the hallway into another room leaving the two kids alone in the room for a moment.

"I didn't let her, I wouldn't let her do that to herself or the baby, it's just not something I believe in, and I swore I would do anything to help her. She had the baby, but she was still living with our parents and they drove her crazy, I got out the moment I hit the first day of college. She lost that opportunity because she got pregnant, they refused to pay for anything, and said that she deserved a horrible life of struggling. She went insane after a month, she dropped Ari on my doorstep with a note pleading with me to keep her child and to never let my parents get custody of her and that when she was ready she would come back. A month later I got a phone call that she had driven off a bridge Emily, I just say fatal car accident because I can't stand the fact that it might have been…." I couldn't even say it I just shook my head and Emily soothed my hair, why I was spilling my life story to her I didn't even know.

"I was angry at the world, for so long, I had to hear my parents say she deserved it, and she was crazy, and every excuse in the world, they freaking tell Ari that her mother left her because she didn't love her!" I said angrily.

"Why do you even let them see her?" she asked.

I sighed wiping at my eyes, "Because it's the court agreement we came too, I wasn't allowing them around her much as a baby, because they burn everything they touch and destroy every ounce of confidence someone has. They brought me to court trying to get custody of Ari, saying I was an unfit mother. I had just gotten out of nursing school, so I was working as a nurse, I had a job, so that didn't go quite the way they planned, their argument was that my boyfriend of four years dumped me and I was unstable without a man to support me. Whatever. The court sided with me, after reading my sister's will, but they had gotten rights to see her at least three times a month," I told her.

She nodded, "Why didn't you involve Paul? He could have helped…" she trailed off.

I told her everything so far, why lie, "Honestly, because I hated him. I hated him for fucking my sister, getting her pregnant, then ignoring her phone calls, that destroyed my sister, she was like in love with him, she always fell fast and hard, and when your sister cries, you hate whoever made her cry. Then with everything that happened I kind of blamed him for everything, my boyfriend of four years dumping me because I had to care for a child that wasn't mine, that my parents got crueler, that I had to give up everything, and Lindy's death," I whispered shamefully.

"I know it's not right, but I blamed him, I still do, I can't help it, but I put that aside and I knew he deserved the right to meet his daughter, and if he loved her like I hoped he would then I wanted them to have a relationship. I didn't want her to grow up hearing from her grandparents that both of her parents hated her, and I only took her because I had to. That's what she hears, that's what they tell her… The entire ride up here she kept asking me if her daddy would like her," I whispered.

"Paul adores her, I saw how he looked at her," Emily told me.

I nodded, "I agree, I did it for her though, not him, I just don't want it to come back and bite me. Is it totally selfish that I have this fear that he is going to take her from me?" I asked her.

Emily smiled at me, "Of course not, it is a completely normal fear! But I can tell you this, he would never cut you out of her life completely, he'd want her to have a mom, and that is you to her, he'd never take that away from her even if it meant losing her. Which brings me to the next topic, I know its an unspoken fear that he'll break her heart, but I can promise you one thing, Paul would never hurt that child for anything. You'll have to wrangle her out of his arms for the rest of his life. He grew up in a very difficult home, which I know is not an excuse, but he talks to me more than anyone else. He told me if he ever had a kid, he'd want them to be smothered in love, something he never got. His mom left when he was twelve, and his father was an alcoholic, Paul deals with things in his own way, but I can say that he has never even touched a bottle of alcohol, and it is probably eating him alive that he didn't get to hold her the day she was born, and that her mother left her just like his left him. He probably blames himself for everything much like you have placed the blame on him, so go easy on him, he'll come around," she promised.

I sucked in a deep breath, it did make me understand Paul a bit better, and actually made me feel even better about bringing her here. "Thanks Emily," I whispered.

"I'm here for you babe anytime!" she said hugging me tightly before we stood up and walked back into the room where Paul and the girl from before were playing with Lucas and Ari.

Emily walked over to Paul then and hugged him tightly from behind placing kisses on his cheek while he whined that she was mothering him again. "She's beautiful Paul, you're going to be a great father," she told him kissing his cheek again.

"Thanks Em," he told her sincerely and by the way he looked at her I knew he adored her, not in a romantic way, but like a sister like he said, but then again how could you NOT love Emily.

Emily sat down next to the girl while I sat down in between her and Paul. "You okay?" Ari asked crawling over to me and wiping a tear that I must have forgotten about when my floodgates opened.

"I'm fine, honey," I told her not really believing it myself but I did feel a lot better than I did before.

I felt eyes on me for the next few moments and I finally looked over at Paul to see him staring at me, "You're not fine," he told me softly so no one else could hear as he scooted closer to me.

"Emily's great," I commented instead.

"Yeah she is, but the question is did she make you feel better?" he asked me.

I nodded, "Yeah I kind of just spilled my life to her, I feel like I have a weight lifted off my chest, but saying I feel exactly accepted here would be a lie," I told him honestly.

He sighed, "I talked to them more after you left, they understand a bit better, and the guy that kept making comments was my life long best friend, he's just really protective of me…and he'll apologize later. No one has any issues now, they'll accept you both with open arms, I promise," he told me.

"What did you say to them?" I asked.

"Just some stuff, I told them that technically it wasn't your responsibility to make sure I had a relationship with my daughter, that would have been your sister, and the fact that you did, is better than I could have hoped for giving the circumstances, especially since Ari is only three," he told me.

I smiled at him, "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, Paul, I really had no idea what to expect," I told him.

"It's okay, I mean its not, but its not your fault, its mine, I should have answered your sister's phone calls, I'm just lucky that you cared enough to bring her into my life period," he told me.

"You're going to be a good dad," I told him.

"I have quite the standard to live up to with you as a mom, and your husband as a father figure," he told me.

I bit my lip, and Emily and the other girl's ears perked up when they heard the word husband. Emily looked at me questioningly and I just looked away, "He's more her best friend than her dad," I told him.

"Still, I owe him for taking care of her," he replied and I sucked in a deep breath, I really shouldn't lie about that, it was going to come back and bite me.

"I didn't know you were married," Emily said softly.

I opened my mouth to confess the truth, when Paul spoke for me, "Yeah, Ari adores Nathan, he sounds like a cool guy, apparently bought a pet monkey yesterday," Paul said.

"I would have killed Jared," Kim exclaimed and I laughed.

"Nathan's a vet, he is always coming home with strange animals, I just make him bring them back, after they aren't so cute anymore," I joked and they laughed.

"Sounds like a great guy," Emily said giving me a look that said she didn't buy it.

"Yeah, tell Emily about that time he brought you to see the white tigers!" Paul asked Ari.

Ari squealed, "One time Nay Nay brought momma and me to see the baby tigers they were so cute, and we got to play with them, and feed them from a bottle!" Ari squealed.

Emily looked a bit confused now, "What's the most romantic thing he's ever done for you Jazz?" the girl who I still did not know her name asked me.

I was drowning in that lie unfortunately and Ari totally ruined it for me, "EW! Momma and Nay Nay don't kiss! That gross!" she said holding her nose.

They all laughed at that, but it gave me an out, "My momma and daddy kiss all the time it gross!" Lucas then said and Emily blushed while we all laughed at that.

Then the big guy stuck his head in, "Em, the guys are getting hungry," she said.

"Alright, Kim would you…." She trailed off.

"Yeah, Paul come help me!" Kim said grabbing his hand and pulling him from the room luckily bringing Ari with him.

"You're married?" Emily hissed at me.

I groaned, "No, it was just a sarcastic remark when we were in an argument, before he realized that Ari was his he called me a whore, and then asked why I didn't call my husband…and I said my phone was dead…and then Ari just keeps going on about Nathan because he is seriously her favorite person in the world and he just is assuming," I said quickly.

"You need to clear that up, he's probably told everyone that you're married," she told me.

"But what if he thinks I'm unfit to be her mom then…" I trailed off.

"He won't, I promise, who is Nathan?" she asked.

"My best friend who lives with us, he's totally gay, but in the closet if you know what I mean," I said.

She laughed, "Paul is going to be pissed," she informed me.

I groaned, "I know!" I whined.

"Come on let's go eat," she said rubbing my back and leading me out of there with Lucas on her hip.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Dinner went about as well as to be expected with the news that the people attending the dinner had received. It was loud and I was practically ignored which I was perfectly fine with as I took Ari from Paul after he had finished feeding her so he could go get seconds. She was getting a bit cranky and tired and kept whining, but nevertheless about fifteen minutes later she was asleep on my shoulder. "She really is beautiful," a guy from next to me said.

I smiled at him, "Thanks, sorry what is your name again?" I asked him.

He chuckled, "Seth," he told me.

I grinned, "Pleasure to meet you," I told him.

He smiled, "Don't let the comments get to you, some of the girlfriends had MUCH worse, like Jake's girlfriend, she wasn't even allowed over for years!" he joked.

I gasped, "That's horrible, why?" I asked.

"Because she was the daughter of a feuding family," he said with an eye roll.

"Are you all such…." I whispered.

"Drama queens, definitely, some of us bigger than others, I lie low on the drama front," he joked and I grinned. Seth was cute. He had puppy dog brown eyes and was just the epitome of a sweet guy. He was definitely my type.

"What about your girlfriend?" I asked unable to stop myself.

He chuckled, "I don't have a girlfriend, I'm the single bachelor of La Push along with Paul, but I'm not really the player type," he shrugged.

"That's crazy, you're adorable," I told him.

He shrugged and I could tell it bothered him a bit. "May I hold her? I love kids?" he questioned.

I chuckled, "Sure," I told him passing her to him, which woke her up. "Momma?" she mumbled unintelligibly looking up to meet Seth's eyes, and he froze looking a bit shocked.

"Who you?" she asked waking up a bit.

"I-I'm Seth," he said softly.

"I go sleep," she told him before wrapping her arms around his neck and snuggling into his shoulder as if she'd known him her whole life.

"Her eyes," he whispered sounding a bit dazed.

I chuckled, "Yeah, she got lucky and got Paul's instead of the Lansing chocolate poop eyes," I joked.

He grinned at me careful not to laugh and shake her. "She'll be a force to be reckoned with when she's older, guys are going to be beating down her door," he told me though for some reason it was like he was telling himself.

I laughed, "I know, I'll keep my shotgun loaded, she won't be allowed to be date till she's thirty, I'm still not allowed to date," I teased him.

He laughed, "Good thing you're married," he joked.

"Oh yeah, right," I said.

"You're not are you?" he whispered in my ear.

I shook my head no, and he chuckled, "It's all good, secret is safe with me, as long as you let me come over and babysit Ari, I really love kids," he pleaded.

I grinned, "Sure, of course, come to Texas with me and you can babysit her everyday," I joked.

He laughed, "You're really going to go back to Texas? We are already making bets that you are going to stay in La Push," he told me.

I was shocked, "I have to go back, I have a job, Nathan, a house, family…" I trailed off.

"I know, my bet is you are going to go back for about two weeks then come crawling back because you and Ari miss Paul," he joked.

I gaped at him, "Ari will, I won't, he's kind of a cocky ass hole," I whispered.

Seth chuckled, "Yeah he is, but a loveable one, you'll get attached mark my words!" he teased me.

"Is that a bet Seth?" I teased him.

He smirked at me, "You bet it is, what do you say fifty?" he asked.

"You've got yourself a deal," I teased him shaking his hand.

Seth and I continued to hit it off for the rest of dinner, and ended up exchanging numbers after I promised to call him to hang out with Ari and I as soon as possible, and he even hinted at tomorrow. Maybe, La Push wouldn't be so bad after all.

We went home around ten, which involved me having to legitimately fight with Ari to let go of Seth. "NO! I want SETH!" she sobbed loudly making a scene making Paul glance over at us for the first time throughout dinner noticing Seth was holding his daughter.

He took one look at Seth and Ari, and legitimately growled, "Why are you holding my daughter?" he said threateningly.

I scoffed, "Chill out, he likes kids, and I told him he could hold her, she's been sleeping for hours and my arms aren't hurting," I told him.

"Seth Clearwater, you are a dead man," Paul hissed at him.

"Paul…" Seth started.

Paul then legitimately ripped Ari from Seth's hold, which made her cry more. "I WANT SETH!" she screamed.

"Give me my daughter," I snapped snatching her away from Paul and trying to comfort her.

"Shhh honey, Seth's going to come play with you tomorrow," I told her.

"YOUR daughter, she's MY daughter, she's your fucking niece," Paul growled angrily.

I froze and gave him a look that could kill and I could see everyone staring at us. "Maybe Ari and I should get a hotel in Port Angeles tonight, it's obvious you need your space," I hissed at him.

"I want Seth," Ari whined reaching for Seth again.

"Shhh, honey, I'll come see you tomorrow, promise," he said taking her hands and kissing them.

"Don't you dare kiss my daughter, and you certainly will not be coming by tomorrow, or ever you pedophile!" Paul growled at Seth pushing him down. What the hell? Paul was legitimately shaking.

He threw me the keys to his house and said, "Take her back to the house, I'll deal with you later," he snapped at me.

"Deal with me later?" I growled very unhappy with that remark.

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Paul screamed at us, which made Ari start screaming her head off.

I turned on my heel and walked out of the house throwing Paul's keys at him. "Don't expect us back at your house ass hole," I growled at him before stomping down the steps and jumping in the car after locking Ari in her car seat. I indeed did drive to Port Angeles and got a hotel room, and Ari and I stayed there for two nights, before her crying for her daddy and her new best friend Seth got to be unbearable, so I dialed Seth's number.

"Seth?" I questioned.

"Jazz? Is that you?" he asked sounding relieved.

"Yeah, I'm on my way back to La Push, Ari has been sobbing constantly wanting Paul and apparently you. You must be the best bed in the world, seriously," I joked.

He chuckled, "I take pride in my comfy shoulder, what do you need?" he asked me.

"I was wondering if we could stay with you for at least a night or so…I really don't want to go back to Paul's…" I said softly.

He was silent, "I think you should, he's a bit of a mess, he thinks he lost you both for good, he's been in Port Angeles searching for you both for the last two days," he told me.

I gulped, "One night? Then I swear we'll go see him," I told him.

"Okay, how far away are you?" he asked.

"Thirty minutes," I informed him.

"Alright see you soon, the address is 4249 Dogwood," he told me.

"Thanks Seth," I said appreciatively.

"Just be careful," he told me and I hung up and drove the rest of the way to his house. He greeted us the minute we drove up. Ari was bouncing up and down screaming his name from her car seat, while I got out and attacked him in a hug even though he was darting for the back door to steal Ari from the car.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"It's no problem, really," he promised as I let go of him allowing him to open the door and hurriedly get Ari out of her car seat to hug her tightly in a bear hug.

"SETH!" she squealed loudly giggling as he kissed her cheek and spun her in a few circles.

"Geez, you would never guess you two just met," I teased.

"I told you I love kids, and kids love me," he grinned kissing her cheek again making her giggle.

"Come on in, I'll get your bags," he offered throwing Ari on his back as he popped the trunk to see two shopping bags.

I shrugged, "We didn't go back and get our luggage so we just went on a shopping spree," I told her.

"Momma got me ice cream!" Ari giggled.

"Is that so? Well would you like me to make you a famous Clearwater Sundae the best ice cream sundae you've ever had?" he asked her.

She gasped, "YES! YES! YES!" she squealed as he grabbed the shopping bags, closed the trunk, and raced inside causing her to squeal and laugh. I chuckled shaking my head, now why couldn't Seth be her dad? He was SO easy to get along with!

I walked into the house to see it definitely had a feminine touch. "I thought you said you didn't have a girlfriend?" I questioned.

"I don't," he said confused.

"A female lives here," I stated.

"Oh yeah, my sister," he said.

"OH! What's she like?" I asked as a girl turned around from the couch.

"The bitter mean bitch of La Push," she informed me with a sour expression.

The girl was drop dead gorgeous, like the prettiest girl I had ever seen. "Leah, be nice," Seth warned.

"He just wants permission to play with your kid, and doesn't want me to ruin it for him," she said with an eye roll. I was suddenly fascinated by Leah like I just HAD to be her new best friend.

I smirked thinking of the perfect comeback, "Actually haven't you heard I'm the new bitch of La Push, I purposely kept Paul's child's existence away from him," I sassed.

Leah smirked, "That is bitchy. I was Sam's high school sweetheart, we were going to get married, then he met my cousin Emily, and dumped me for her, so I go around making his and Emily's life as miserable as possible along with everyone else he's friend's with, by reminding them of my depressing existence," she informed me.

Sweet Emily? "Well I think we're both beat, Sam must be the biggest bitch of La Push," I said.

"Come sit, we will definitely be friends," she grinned at me.

I chuckled and gave her the condensed version of Paul, Ari, and my story along with my hiding out in Port Angeles for two nights. "I'm glad someone finally put Paul in his place, he deserved to be sucker punched years ago!" she joked and I laughed in agreement as Seth and Ari came out of the kitchen with a huge bowl of ice cream. "Jesus, Seth, don't give her diabetes," she warned.

Ari meanwhile looked practically in a love triangle with Seth and the ice cream, it was quite cute, "She'll be fine, he'll eat most of it, right Seth?" I asked him.

He nodded, giving me a thumbs up as he handed Ari a spoon and they dug in. "Your brother is apparently my daughter's new best friend and bed, the entire two days she kept whining that the bed wasn't as comfy as Seth. Like what even? I let him hold her for thirty minutes and now she can't sleep in a bed, because she's so spoiled?" I joked.

Leah shook her head unamused, "I'm sad to say, it happens a lot, my cousin Claire from the Makah Reservation met Quil once and suddenly they were attached at the hip, it's a bit creepy. She's almost ten now, and they are still attached at the hip, he's like her older brother but not annoying enough so he's her best friend," she joked.

"I'm glad, Ari needs a friend, not gonna lie I wish he was her own age, like Lucas, but…Seth's a just a little kid in a big kid's body so, that works too," I joked.

She chuckled at me, "What are you going to tell Paul, when you go back tomorrow?" she asked.

"I was hoping Seth would text him that we were here tomorrow, and he'd come and grovel," I said hopefully.

"I already told him you were here," Seth chimed in.

"What? Why?" I whined. "I thought you were my friend," I continued.

"I am, but I am also his, therefore he deserves to know you're here. I told him that I'd make you go over tomorrow, so to leave you alone today," he told me.

I sighed pouting, "You can also tell him, that its' just to get our bags, unless he figures out how to grovel," I told him.

Seth looked panicked, "You aren't really going to leave are you?" he asked.

"Unless he can give a sincere apology for what he said to me, and promise never to lose control of his anger like that again in front of our daughter, then he can kiss his chances of having a life with us goodbye," I snapped.

"You said our daughter, and life with us," Leah commented.

"What?" I asked confused.

"You were talking as if you and Paul were raising your daughter, as a couple, as a family…" she grinned at me.

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever," I mumbled.

"You were talking as if you and your husband got in a fight," Seth teased me.

"You Clearwater's are delusional, and need therapy, just because I use the pronouns our and us, does not mean I think of Paul and I as a married couple raising our kid, that's ridiculous!" I pouted.

"Would you date Paul?" Seth asked me with a grin.

My eyes widened, "NO! He fucked my sister!" I said then put my hand over my mouth shocked that I had used that word in front of my daughter.

Leah chuckled darkly, "Didn't stop Emily," she mumbled.

I leaned my head on her shoulder and grabbed her hand, "I'm going to die alone, it's going to happen, lightning would have to strike for a guy to even be interested in me," I sighed.

"I feel you, love, at least you can have kids," Leah said softly.

I sat up, "You can't?" I asked her.

She shook her head no, "I haven't gotten my period in years," she sighed.

"Oh Leah, I'm sorry, but coming from someone who is raising a child who she did not birth, I can't imagine loving a child more, raising them is just as special," I told her softly.

She smiled at me, "Thanks, but I wouldn't do that to a kid unless for some strange reason I actually did get married, but who would want to marry me?" she sighed.

"You two are pathetic, you're gorgeous girls, there are plenty of fish in the sea," Seth said.

"You're one to talk, Clearwater, you are single too!" I retorted.

"But I'm looking for the one, not just a one," he grinned at me kissing Ari's temple who looked a bit green from the ice cream.

"That's enough ice cream, Ari," I told her.

She actually nodded and just curled against Seth stretching out in his lap, "I full," she said softly.

"I bet so," I chuckled walking over to her to pick her up.

"No, stay here with Seth," she said getting a death grip on Seth's arm.

"Okay," I chuckled shaking my head at her before walking back over to Leah, "You'll cuddle with me Leah?" I asked.

"Of course, I will Jazzy, maybe we need to become lesbians," she joked.

I laughed, "For you only," I joked and she kissed my cheek jokingly.

"Ew, get a room," Seth joked as well.

We both started laughing and for the rest of the day we just hung out and laughed having a good time. I hadn't had that much fun in a LONG time. I really liked Leah and Seth, they were easily becoming my best friends here, and Seth was so great I would consider dating him, but he started calling me sis halfway through the night, so I doubted he saw me that way. Friendzone or sisterzoned for life.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Come on Ari, you get to see daddy," I told her.

She perked up some, she had thrown a royal tantrum leaving Seth this morning and the only thing that got her up was Seth promising to come over tomorrow, and that we were going to see Paul. "Why can't Seth come?" she whined.

"Because he needs to spend time with his sister, and you need to spend time with your daddy, you can spend time with Seth later," I told her slightly annoyed as I got her out of the car before knocking on the door. Paul answered and Ari lit up, "Daddy!" she squealed jumping into his arms. He hugged her tightly closing his eyes and squeezing the life out of her in a safe way of course.

"I missed you so much Ari," he whispered to her.

"I missed you too daddy," she said kissing is cheek sweetly.

"Come on in," Paul said softly allowing me into the house. I walked in shutting the door behind me and followed him into the living room.

"I made you something!" Paul told Ari excitedly and Ari immediately got really excited.

"A SURPRISE!?" she squealed and he nodded walking towards another room. I followed curious and froze when I saw a room that was painted pink with a huge pink bed that was definitely big enough for two adults with a little dreamcatcher hanging in from it. There was a TV and drawers, and it was the cutest room I'd ever seen, much better than hers back at home. I was slightly jealous, Nathan wasn't good with woodwork and it was obvious Paul had worked hard on the room.

"MINE!?" she asked shocked.

"All yours," Paul told her kissing her cheek.

She squealed racing around the room touching everything including her princess dolls that were lining the wall and going into her closet where there was a chest full of dress up clothes, and pretty much everything a little girl could possibly want. "THANK YOU DADDY!" she finally screamed racing toward him and showering him with kisses.

"You like it?" he asked.

"I LOVE IT! IT'S MY FAVORITE GIFT EVER!" she told him seriously.

I bit my lip, as she raced around some more and Paul and I just watched in silence before she turned to me and said, "Momma, momma, can I PWEASE call Seth and show him my room! PWEASE PWEASE PWEASE!" she begged.

I was about to say no, when Paul answered, "I think that would be a great idea, here you go," he said handing her his phone.

She immediately clicked send, and waited till he answered, "WILL YOU COME SEE MY NEW ROOM AND PLAY DOLLS AND DRESS UP WITH ME?" she screamed into the phone.

"OKAY! LOVE YOU!" she said and he must have said love you too because she hung up.

"He coming," she announced before starting to line up her dolls by favoritism. Paul and I sat in silence on her bed until Seth rang the doorbell, and Paul let him in. As soon as he was in her room with her, Paul grabbed my hand.

"We need to talk," he said sternly.

I nodded in agreement having dreaded this conversation, he then led me into his room and we sat on his bed. "I'm sorry I lost it at Emily's, I never wanted Ari to see me like that, I have some anger issues that I normally have complete control over, I rarely lose it, I swear I'd never lay a finger on either of you, I just kind of scream a lot, and when I was younger I got in a lot of fights," he said softly.

I sucked in a deep breath, "What made you lose it? Seth had done absolutely nothing wrong!" I asked.

He was quiet, "I honestly can't tell you, and I'd like it if you respected that, I promise I will tell you someday, just now is not the time, and if you did know you would have freaked out just as much as I did," he said.

"Is Seth like deranged or something?" I asked panicked.

"No of course not, he's a good guy….just….you really can't explain unless you know the whole story, and that's not a story for today," he said.

I didn't like that answer, but I had secrets of my own, that I wasn't ready to share, "But another day," I said in a final tone.

"Fair enough," he agreed before sighing, "And I'm sorry I said she wasn't your daughter, that was wrong and completely untrue," he said.

I flinched at the memory, "I accept your apology, but I will tell you that I hear that often, and coming from you it hurt even more," I told him honestly.

He hung his head lowly, "I really am sorry, I never should have said that and I regretted it the minute I said it," he promised.

I sighed nodding deciding now would be a good time to apologize for leaving, "I'm sorry for leaving without telling you where I was going, I know that was scary, and wrong on many levels, I hope you knew that I was going to come back, I mean I left my luggage, a girl never leaves her luggage if she doesn't plan on coming back. I was really angry, and I just needed space," I told him.

"Would you promise me something?" he whispered.

"What?" I asked unsurely.

"No matter how mad you get at me, and if you do leave again would you just send me a text that you are alright, both of you, that you are alive," he begged.

I was silent for a moment, before taking a deep breath and nodding, "Yes, if you do the same for me," I told him.

He smiled at that, "It's a deal," he said.

I bit my lip and sighed, "There's something else I need to come clean about since we are apologizing and everything, so when we met and we got in that fight and I said I had a husband?" I questioned.

He nodded looking confused, "I actually don't, I'm a single mom, my best friend Nathan lives with me and helps me take care of Ari. The guy I thought I was going to marry cheated on me and dumped me four months before we were supposed to get married. I'm sorry I lied to you, I just didn't really think you'd actually truly assume…." I trailed off.

"Y-you're not married?" he whispered sounding purely shocked.

"No," I sighed staring at my hands.

"So Nathan is just a friend?" he questioned.

I nodded still unable to look at him, "I swear I take care of her, I may be a single mom, but I would do anything for that child, and I've already been brought to court by my parents with that as their argument, and won, if it comes to it, I'll do it again," I told him bravely finally looking up at him.

I was shocked to find him looking slightly relieved, "It would be a real fight against a single mom and a single dad wouldn't it? Is it bad that I'm glad you're not so we're on the same playing field, you would win in court no doubt about it, which is why I plan on having nothing to do with that. We'll argue, but if we can talk it out like we are now, then we have nothing to worry about," he told me.

I smiled slightly feeling better, "I really am sorry I went along with it so long," I told him.

He shrugged, "I walked into it, not going to lie, it's not like you said he was again, other than when we were arguing, and you would have made me look dumb if you didn't go along with it at the party, so I can't exactly be angry. I'm just really glad I'm the only dad in her life," he said softly.

I just shrugged as well, and he sighed, "We aren't going to get along very well are we?" he asked me.

I was quiet, "We're polar opposites, we're going to fight its going to happen. Let's just try not to yell around Ari, she hates yelling, and when she's around her grandparents that's all they do," I told him.

"Okay, I'll do my best, why do you allow them around her?" he asked me.

I sighed, "Not by choice, it's court order, they have to see her three times a month as long as we are within a five hour driving range. When they brought me to court that was the bargain deal," I said.

He frowned, "They seriously brought you to court to take her away, I thought you were exaggerating," he whispered.

"I wish, if it was up to me she'd never be around them, they are very negative. I know they love me and I know they love Ari, but they tell her things that no child needs to hear. I refuse to leave her there alone for even five minutes, I would make Nathan come just so we could trade out being in the room when the other had to use the bathroom, and even with us there, there still isn't much of a filter," I told him.

He growled slightly, "Then the solution is you move here, and they can't see her," he said as if it was so simple.

I scoffed, "It's not that simple, Paul, I have a job, friends, and a house with Nathan," I told him slightly annoyed he voiced the silent thought in my head.

"You're a nurse practitioner, you'd get a job easily at Forks Hospital, I know Dr. Cullen, and he'd help get you in, even though you wouldn't need it, the fact that you are a nurse practitioner would get you in on its own. You and Ari can stay with me, my house is already paid off so no mortage, and your friends and Nathan could come visit any time they like just as you can visit them," he said simply.

"Paul, remember how we said we were going to try not to fight, you're starting an argument," I told him seriously.

He made a face, "It's not an argument and it needs to be discussed," he said.

"I've been here five days!" I argued.

"And two of those days you took my child away from me, I want to ensure that she stays in my life, and I'm not interested in summers or holidays," he said his voice starting to raise.

"So the only option is me moving here, right? What about you? I've made enough sacrifices already? Why don't you move to Texas then, you can pay rent with Nathan and I, and you can get a job as a mechanic down there," I told him.

He made a really ugly face, "I'm Quileute, and part of the main group of boys that are going to be the elders of the tribe, I signed a contract years ago to live here for the rest of my life, my house was free, and I co-own my own business here, I can't move," he stated.

"A contract, that's BS, they can't make you live somewhere," I told him.

"Oh yes they can, if I broke the contract, I'd never be allowed back here, and I'd have to pay off this house, and I don't have that type of money," he told me.

I frowned heavily, so in other words the only solution was that I had to move. My eyes started to water at the thought, if I fought him on this, he would bring me to court I had no other options. "Please don't cry, I'm sorry I brought it up so soon, I just thought we were putting everything on the table," he said sounding panicked.

Why did he even care if I started crying? He made girls cry all the time! I wasn't that special, he just wanted to stay on my good side. I just looked away wiping at my eyes, "It really wouldn't be so bad, I'm not as awful as you think I am! Seth would always babysit, and so would Leah, you eat free every dinner because Emily…and you'd love Forks Hospital, they are short handed so you'd probably be acting as a doctor….and…." he started to babble.

"Please, just shut up right now," I pleaded.

He closed his mouth and sighed. I wouldn't admit the real reason I was so upset, it had nothing to do with here, I knew living here would be great, that wasn't an issue. The fact of the matter was, my friends Victoria and Kaylie were my sisters; I could not have survived without them, and same with Nathan. Victoria and Kaylie were both married now, being beautiful and perfect. Nathan was my safety, he was in the same boat I was, except, he was gay, and I was just unlikable, I just thought he and I were going to end up getting married, I could live without that romantic relationship, Nathan made me happy, we laughed all the time, and never fought. Sure, it bothered me that no one would ever love me that way, but…. I wasn't loveable I accepted that long ago. The guy I was supposed to marry didn't want me, the guy had freaking proposed when he found out about me raising Ari, I loved him more than anyone, and then he broke the engagement by cheating on me because he couldn't handle it. All the La Push guys besides Seth and Paul were married or engaged. Seth and I were bros, and Paul….he fucked my sister, so that wasn't going to happen despite how gorgeous and pushed together we were. This would mean I would probably die alone in a house with Paul Lahote, who was probably still going to be the player of the town at 84 probably fucking all his best friend's girlfriends that their husband had died. I shivered at the thought.

"Jazz…" he whispered.

I made a decision right then and probably said something I shouldn't have, "I don't want to move here with you, and have to share a house with you, and live here with you until Ari is old enough to move out and make her own choices, I would be miserable, but like always I'll do what's best for everyone else, and not care about the consequences or toll it takes on me. So yes Paul, I probably will have to move in with you because you fucked my sister over and destroyed her life, and now you're destroying mine, I can honestly say I'm not surprised," I snapped before standing up and stomping out of the house. Did I mean half of what I said? No. Would I be miserable living here? No. Did I regret saying that especially the last part? Yes. Would I take it back? No. Did I deserve to throw a bit of a tantrum? Yes.

I marched into the forest, because I didn't want him to think I was leaving again, I probably cut deep enough, always thinking of others…that's me. I walked for what felt like hours until I was so tired I just sat down against a tree and cried. Cried for my life that got taken away from me that I had absolutely no control over. I just pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in my knees and before I knew what I was doing I pulled out my phone and dialed a number I really had no business calling.

"Hello?" a familiar voice asked sounding concerned as he knew I would not call unless something happened because he knew my hatred for him rivaled my hatred for Paul Lahote and that was saying something.

Unable to help myself I let out a sob, he did not deserve to hear me cry, he shouldn't get that satisfaction. "Jazz, what's wrong, talk to me?" he pleaded.

Instead of hanging up like I should have I sobbed out the words that I never needed to say, "I miss you," I sobbed.

He was silent on the other end of the phone, "I miss you too," he whispered.

That only made me sob harder, "Don't tell me that," I replied.

"But it's true, I miss you every single day, Jazz, I have to live with the fact that I hurt you so badly, I gave you and Ari up just because I panicked about growing up, having a family, and how much I loved you, I know you hate me, but you have to know Jazz, I never stopped loving you," he whispered.

I shook my head no, "Don't tell me that," I said angrier.

"What do you want me to say Jazz? Do you want me to lie? Because that's one thing I will never do, even when I messed up, I told you about it, I couldn't lie to you," he whispered.

I sniffled and I knew it was true, he did tell me about it, and honestly after about a month I wanted to go after him, but then I thought about what would happen if he did it again, after we were married, I didn't want Ari being a child of divorce nor did I want her growing up in an atmosphere like I grew up in. "I introduced her to Paul," I whispered.

He was silent, "How did it go?" he asked.

"He adores her, he'll be a good dad," I said softly.

"That's good then," he said.

"Yeah, for Ari, not so much me, he wants me to move to La Push with him, so we can raise her together," I whispered.

"But why should you give up everything for him?" he voiced my thoughts.

"Because that's what I always do right? I always do what is good for everyone else but not me, and I want Ari to have a father," I told him.

"I could be that dad for her, Jazz, you know I could," he told me.

I wiped at my eyes, "She deserves to have a relationship with Paul, it wouldn't be right for me to rip her from him either, especially since he wants a life with her, I have no doubt he'd bring her to court and get custody," I whispered ignoring his comment about being her father.

"Why can't he have summers, or you have summers for that matter, you could have your life back Jazz, we could have another chance, she is HIS daughter, let him take responsibility give you a break," he idealized.

"I can't lose her, Aaron, she's my everything," I whispered.

"I use to be your everything," he replied.

"I shouldn't have called," I sniffled.

"I'm glad you did, can I see you again, please?" he begged.

"I'm in La Push," I said stiffly.

"I know, I have a business trip to Seattle in two days, I'd love to see you, we could meet up for lunch Friday…" he whispered.

"I don't know," I replied.

"Please, I haven't seen you in two years, I've changed a lot, I've matured, Jazz, please give me a chance," he whispered.

Before I could stop myself I said, "Okay."

"It's a date then, the Met 1 o' clock!" he told me.

I gulped, "That place is supposed to be really pricy," I started to argue.

"My treat," he said like always shoving his money around.

"I'm not bringing Ari," I told him.

"I didn't expect you to, I think you and I need to talk some things out," he told me.

I was silent, "Okay," I whispered.

"I'll see you Friday, Jazz, I can't wait," he said excitedly.

"Bye Aaron," I said softly before hanging up quickly before I dug myself a deeper hole.

I had a date with the guy who broke my heart, shattered all the pieces across the floor, then stomped and rolled around on them breaking them more. This screamed trouble, I just… I had to see him, I had to see if we had a chance, this was my last chance.

I sat there for a while longer before getting up and walking back to the house. I knocked on the door to be greeted by Paul who looked a bit relieved to see me. "You didn't text me that you were okay," he stated.

I blinked surprised, "I thought that was for Ari," I whispered.

"Both of you," he stated sincerely before shocking me by pulling me into a hug and holding onto me tight.

"I'm sorry," I apologized softly.

"It's okay, I shouldn't have pushed you like I did," he said sincerely.

"I didn't mean what I said, it was the anger talking," I apologized.

"Its okay, are we good now?" he asked as if not even caring that I said some pretty awful things to him, he just seemed happy I was safe.

"Yeah," I said unsurely as to why he was being so nice.

"Good," he breathed relieved.

"You're being weird," I told him.

He bit his lip, "You didn't take your car, which meant you went into the forest, y-you could have been wolf food," he trailed off.

My eyes widened, "Th-there are wolves in there?" I asked.

"And worse," he told me.

I gulped, and hugged him tighter again wondering how I managed not to get eaten, with all the noise I was making probably scared them off. "I'm so sorry, I scared you, I promise not to go in there again," I told him.

"Good, as weird as it may be, Ari isn't the only one I care about, you're her mom, Jazz, I didn't have a mom growing up, I want her to have one," he stated seriously.

I gulped nodding, "Thanks Paul," I whispered my eyes watering, "I really didn't mean the last part, I really feel awful, you're a great dad and…" I started to ramble.

He pulled me into another hug, "I know, I'm a fuck up Jazz, you may not have meant it, but I know it's true, and I can't be mad at you for speaking the truth," he said softly and I frowned as he let go of me. He really didn't think that did he. "Let's just call it a truce," he begged obviously seeing my expression as one of dislike for what he just said.

"Deal," I said shaking his hand before he pulled me inside and shut the door. I didn't realize how late it was until I saw both Seth and Ari passed out on the couch asleep.

"You can take her bed, I don't think she'll be using it tonight," Paul told me.

I nodded, "Night Paul," I whispered.

"Night Jazz," he said tucking a piece of hair behind my ear before I ran off toward Ari's new room before I did something really stupid like kiss him, which was a dumb thought, I wouldn't want to ever kiss Paul Lahote there was no telling where his mouth had been.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The next day was just pretty lazy, Paul had to work so Seth and Leah came over to keep me company or rather Leah came over me, and Seth came over for Ari, I swear he adored that girl as much as Paul and I did, it was a little weird.

Leah could tell something was off about me, but I was too ashamed to tell her I had a date tomorrow with the guy that broke my heart, I knew she for one would tear me to pieces and judge me. I wanted to call Kaylie, Victoria, or Nathan, and talk to them, but they'd judge me worse than Leah, they put the pieces back together already once.

She left telling me to have fun on my day in Seattle tomorrow, I had told her I was going to take a day and just focus on me, go get my nails done, get all dressed up and treat myself to the Met, and all that shit, she was totally for it, said she needed to do that for herself as well.

I barely slept that night I was freaking out so much, I really wish Ari had chosen to sleep with me instead of Paul because I really needed someone to cuddle right now. The next morning I got up early and took way too long to get dressed. I had to look good but not like I was trying too hard. I wanted him to regret what he did and think I was attractive. He was the only person who had ever even claimed to think that.

Around ten I came out of the room to see Paul setting the table with breakfast and Ari clinging to his back like a monkey. "Momma, you look pretty!" Ari squealed causing Paul to turn around and drop the plate he was holding, luckily it was just a paper plate so it didn't break.

"You look gorgeous," he said and I blushed bright red at his comment and as if the words had left his lips without permission he blushed.

"Thanks," I said shyly tucking my hair behind my ear.

"I made breakfast," Paul said still staring at me, his eyes drifting over my body carelessly and it was almost as if he was undressing me with his eyes, which totally made me uncomfortable.

"That's nice, I think I'll have to skip out though, I have reservations for 1 at the Met in Seattle," I told him.

His eyes narrowed, "Who with?" he asked seriously.

"No one, just myself, treating myself to a girly day of retail therapy and a nice lunch is all," I lied.

"Leah can go with you then, she'd love to," he stated.

"I'm going by myself, I don't want company this is a ME day," I told him.

He frowned deeper, "I don't like the idea of you going to Seattle alone," he told me.

"Well, you don't have to like it, I'm a 25 year old woman, I drove here from Texas, I think I'm capable of driving to Seattle," I said a bit rudely.

"Fine, but you are eating breakfast it's only a 2 hour drive anyway," he told me.

I sighed sitting down obliging as he set a plate down in front of me, I was hungry, I quickly ate, when she suddenly noticed my necklace, "Momma, why are you wearing that?" she asked pointing to the necklace.

"It's pretty, and I thought it matched my dress you don't like it?" I asked slightly panicked. She was one, she could not remember what this necklace meant to me.

"You don't wear it anymore, it old," she said uneasily.

"Jewelry is timeless, I just gave it a break is all," I lied.

"That's the necklace Nay Nay broke when he screamed at you that one time," she said.

My eyes widened she was ONE how did she remember that, "He what?" Paul asked evenly.

"We just got in a fight, Paul, that's all, and Ari, I think you're confused, I wouldn't be wearing it if it were broken," I lied to her.

Ari leaned forward climbing onto my lap and she pulled at my necklace looking at it, "No it is your Aladdin necklace! It says A&J's Whole New World!" Ari argued.

"Okay, it is my Aladdin necklace, Ari, but I love it, so I got it fixed, it's my favorite necklace," I told her honestly.

"Nay Nay don't like it," she told me.

"Well, Nay Nay isn't wearing it is he?" I asked her slightly annoyed.

"I no like it either," she said folding her arms across her chest.

"Well, you don't have to wear it either, now I have to go, Ari, have fun with Paul today and be good," I said quickly kissing her forehead and getting up before dropping her in Paul's lap.

"I'll be home this evening," I told Paul before hurrying out the door to my car but not before I heard Ari tell Paul.

"That necklace is from someone Nay Nay calls the A Hole," she called out.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I clutched the wheel this was a very bad idea. VERY VERY bad idea, but the idea of seeing him again was just….too tempting. I pulled the car into drive and made my way toward Seattle and the guy that could cause me to have more emotions than I knew existed.

I arrived at The Met and just sat there hyperventilating, I couldn't do this it was so stupid. I didn't want to see him again he broke me…he hurt Ari as well. That's when I saw him in a tux and a bouquet of roses waiting at the front of the restaurant. I started shaking he looked beautiful more beautiful than I remembered with his creamy skin, curly dirty blonde hair, and bright blue eyes. He drew me in like bugs are drawn to light. I gulped getting out of my car and as if it were a movie and we were the lead actors and actresses. We locked eyes and his face broke into a huge grin while I probably looked terrified.

I continued to make my way to him though shaking with every step I took until we were inches apart our eyes never losing each other. "Jazz," he whispered and his voice broke the trance I was in and I took a step back.

"Aaron," I said my voice cold and bitter.

He looked away, "These are for you," he said softly handing me the bouquet of roses, "They are going to be dead by the time I get back to La Push," I said stupidly and he actually laughed.

"What happened to it's the thought that counts?" he asked.

"Its only when that thought is chocolates," I replied sassily unable to help the smirk that spread across my lips.

"Which is totally why I brought these as well," he said pulling out a box of chocolates from his coat, and I couldn't help but laugh but then my eyes widened when I saw what type they were.

"You got my favorite," I whispered.

He shrugged, "I figured you probably hadn't treated yourself right lately, and splurged," he told me with a shrug.

I bit my lip and took the box from his hand and opened it unable to stop myself as I put one of the peanut butter truffles in my mouth and breathed in pure contentment. "So would you like to go inside and eat those as our appetizer?" he asked.

I bit my lip, "Your appetizer, it's my appetizer," I joked.

"Good thing, I brought my own box," he grinned pulling out his own and that was how our date started.

We sat there and talked for hours, laughing and enjoying each other, I hadn't had that much fun since well the day we got engaged. "I can't believe she's three," he said in shock as I showed him yet another picture on my phone of her.

"It's crazy, I miss my dates out with my two favorite girls," he told me honestly.

"I miss them too," I replied staring at him and then he reached across the table and grabbed my necklace.

"You're wearing it," he whispered.

I looked down, "I haven't worn it in two years, but I…." I couldn't even finish before he held out his watch that had engraved in it the same thing.

"I haven't taken it off in two years, it's the only thing I have left of you," he told me.

I looked down, and just stared at my empty plate of cheesecake, "What are we doing Aaron," I whispered.

"I'm trying to start over with you, and prove to you that the future that we both saw together, isn't a lost cause! I never stopped loving you, Jazz," he told me.

I just stared at the plate some more, "I have had more fun in these few hours than I have since we got engaged," I replied.

"Jazz, it isn't over between us, we both know you ended it because you were scared we'd end up like your parents and you didn't want that life for Ari. I swear to you, we are not them, Jazz, I will love you till the day you die, and I will love Ari just as much as I love our own children. I can give you the life you always imagined having….and I'm being moved to Seattle, Jazz," he informed me grabbing my hands.

My eyes widened, "We can go to Vegas, get married, then move back here and get a house, start a family, Ari would be driving distance away from Paul, and you could work something out like weekends or something, even if you only got her weekends, you could drive there anytime you wanted," he started to tempt me.

"Aaron, please stop promising everything I ever dreamed of, it's clouding my judgment," I begged.

He sighed and nodded, "I'm sorry, I just got excited, and I apologize, I move here in a month, and I'm on business here until then, I just fly back the last week to get my stuff. We have time, Jazz, it doesn't have to be now," he told me.

I was silent, "Can we go one step at a time? Like a clean slate, starting over?" I whispered.

He squeezed my hands, "If that's what you want," he told me.

I nodded meeting his eyes, "I'm sorry sir and ma'am, but you have overstayed your time," a hostess came up and said snootily.

Aaron and I both chuckled, but nodded getting up not thinking it was worth a fight. We'd been here for…. I looked down at my own watch and my eyes widened, four hours… "Oh shit, Paul's probably panicking and texting me like crazy, I said I'd be home by evening," I told Aaron a bit panicked.

"And I've missed three meetings…." He trailed off and then we looked at each other and laughed before he pulled me into a tight hug.

"When can I see you again?" he asked me smoothing my hair while I was enveloped in his familiar scent.

"Soon," I promised.

"Monday?" he asked.

"Maybe," I said biting my lip again as I looked up at him.

"You know you told me, that anytime you bit your lip around me it was because you wanted to kiss me," he whispered leaning down entrancing me.

"Crap," I breathed.

He smirked slightly, "You can stop me if you want to," he told me his eyes zeroing in on mine, as he came so close I could feel his breath.

Like the idiot I was, I pulled him in the rest of the distance and kissed him. It was so familiar and safe, and happy, he was the only guy I had ever made out with, and the only guy I had ever REALLY kissed, besides my first kiss of course but that wasn't a REAL kiss. When we practically finished swallowing each other outside the Met he leaned his forehead against mine, "I missed you," he whispered stroking my neck.

I was just breathing heavy staring at him wide eyed not believing what I just let happen. "You should go, before I don't let you leave," he told me.

I nodded and continued to stare at him frozen in my place. "Your so cute when your dazzled, fine I'll walk away," he said winking at me before pecking my lips one last time before running off to his car.

I groaned the minute I got my bearings back I was an IDIOT! I stomped to my car and punched my steering wheel, why did I let him kiss me, it brought all those feelings back, and he made me vulnerable. I didn't like feeling vulnerable. I screamed loudly into the emptiness of my car as I drove back to La Push. I was angry at myself for falling back into his arms so easily, I mean one date and he freaking had me ready to marry him again, but I wasn't completely naïve. I knew he wasn't the same guy he was two years ago. I didn't trust him, but I did know….that there was a very great possibility that I would be trusting him again.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The minute I drove up I saw Paul sitting on a rocking chair on the porch looking quite angry. I gulped as I got out of the car, "You said you'd be home by evening," Paul said unhappily greeting me before I could even get to the steps of his house.

"I'm sorry there was a lot of traffic," I told him which was true.

"Where are your shopping bags, you said you were going for retail therapy," he asked suspiciously.

"I didn't see anything I wanted," I lied once again.

"Don't lie to me, where were you?" he asked me.

"Seattle eating at the Met," I said truthfully.

"With who?" he asked again.

"Myself," I lied trying to slip past him.

"Your lips are swollen and your hair is messed up, you were not by yourself," he argued and he looked quite disturbed to say that.

"Okay, so I was with someone, why does it matter? Are you saying that you are allowed to go on dates but I'm not?" I said angrily.

He opened his mouth to scream at me and then he groaned rubbing his face, "You lied about it, you didn't even tell Leah or Nathan, why couldn't you just say you were on a date? That's what worries me!" he said softly.

I was silent, and I groaned sitting down on the step rubbing my face, "I'm sorry," I said softly shaking my head. I needed to talk to someone, and honestly Paul had no right to judge me, he was a man whore, he probably would judge me, but he had no right, and I honestly didn't care what he thought.

I heard him sit beside me, "Would you tell me what's going on? Please?" he asked me.

I sighed, "You don't have any right to judge me," I whispered.

"Very true, and I won't judge you, I've been judged so often, that I would never do that to anyone else, especially you," he told me.

I looked up at him and met his beautiful green eyes just like Ari's and I just knew I could tell him everything. "Going into college, I had never had a real boyfriend nor had I been on many dates, then this gorgeous guy asked me out, he was a bit of a rebel, and I had ALWAYS gone for the bad boy, being the innocent good girl I was, but this was the first time one had actually shown interest in me. We started dating and I fell head over heels for him, and he actually fell for me too. He was my best friend, I told him absolutely everything about me stuff I wouldn't even admit to myself. My parents loved him because he was wealthy, successful, and smart. He was so good to me. Our relationship was one of those that you could write a book about. We sang at the top of our lungs in the car to Disney Pandora, we would dance in the middle of restaurants and he could make me laugh about absolutely anything. He was my rock, and the only person who had ever cared about what was good for ME and what I wanted. When Lindy got pregnant he was there for me as I supported her. When she abandoned her baby with me, he would stay up all night with me to take care of her, we had been dating for four years by this point, and when Lindy died, he was the one who comforted me when I cried and cried, it was a month after that he proposed, it wasn't unexpected and it wasn't like it was just because I was now in charge of a child, it had been something we had talked about for four years, after we graduated we were going to get married and wait several years before having a child of our own just so we could travel the world together. We loved each other I have never once doubted that. About eight months after we got engaged and four months till we were getting married, he cheated on me. He had sex with some girl for a one-night stand. He came to me crying a week later telling me what he had done. I was devastated needless to say, he kept telling me that he loved me and he was panicked about the wedding and was having doubts and the fact that I already had a kid that wasn't his kind of bothered him, but he did love her, and all this other crap. I didn't dump him right away which everyone disagreed with, but I was up many a sleepless night thinking about how the same thing happened to my mom, but she still married the guy…and I kept having nightmares that we would turn into my parents, so I dumped him for Ari. I loved him more than anyone in the world besides Ari, we were both devastated…that was the worst part. And the fact of it was that if I had stopped looking at it like everyone was telling me to look at it, and for once stop and think for myself if I would have made that decision for me, I know for a fact I would have married him," I whispered wiping at my eyes.

He was completely silent for a few moments before he shocked me by wrapping an arm around me and pulling me into his chest and I immediately started sobbing, "I know its totally pathetic, and I should hate him, but I don't. I just don't have it in me. He's my best friend in the entire world and these two years have been hell without him in my life. There were so many times I just wanted to call him crying and tell him to come over and watch my favorite movie, or to come have an ice cream party, I just I can't live without him Paul," I sobbed into his chest.

Paul sighed resting his head on mine rubbing my back and playing with my hair, "I wish I could give you some amazing advice right now, but I really don't know what to say. I have never been in a relationship, so I don't feel I have the right to give any sort of crap advice. Just know that…." he sighed taking a deep breath.

"I love you and Ari, okay, I know that sounds crazy because I've been a total ass to you since you got here, but I'm not really great about expressing my emotions, and I don't care about people… My friends call me an unfeeling ass hole, because I lash out at them because that's all I've ever known. I don't know how to show people I love them, Ari it's easy to love her, because she's so small and she's a baby, I don't have it in me to be a mean ass hole to her, but you…you're this strong woman who is able to take up for herself in a fight, and doesn't take my crap. You brought me Ari, which is the first bit of happiness and love I've ever had. If I am being completely honest with you like you were with me. You are the first girl I have ever respected besides Emily. You are an amazing person Jazz, and you deserve to be happy. I don't give a fuck what other people say to you about that guy, and you shouldn't either. If you love him and he makes you the happiest girl in the world go for it. I've screwed up every relationship with anyone whether it is a friend or a family member since I was born, and I regret it. Just know that no matter what, I love you okay, and I don't use those words lightly. You will always have a home here and I'm here for you if you need anything, I may scream at you and tell you I hate you or some other BS, but please know that it's BS. I care about you, and you do whatever you need to do to make YOU happy," he told me.

I started sobbing harder and I clung to him tighter, it wasn't the words I was expecting or some great advice telling me what to do, but it was what I have needed to hear for two years. Not being told I did the right thing, or to dump him, or think about Ari. He told me to think about me. No one had ever told me that. "Those are perfect words," I sobbed squeezing him tightly and he held onto me just as tightly and I noticed he was crying a bit too.

"Don't tell anyone I said that I love you okay, I don't use those words," he mumbled into my hair.

Despite everything I started laughing and crying at the same time and kissed his cheek, "I won't, and Paul?" I sniffled wiping at my snot and tears, and he chuckled wiping at my eyes and his eyes too.

"Yeah?" he sniffled himself, "And don't tell anyone I cried either, I'm supposed to be a tough guy," he mumbled as well.

"Promise me something," I whispered.

"Anything," he replied.

"I won't let you push me away, if you don't let me push you away. We're in this together okay? No matter what, if I get married to Aaron, or I decide that I'm being stupid and end up an old maid. You will always be special okay? We are going to be in each other's life forever, and I'd really like it if we could be best friends, or something. We both need someone in our life that is a constant and someone we know that loves us no matter what stupid stuff we do, or how pathetic or stupid we're being. I love you because you are Ari's father, and the fact that you love her makes me love you. We're family okay, she will always be our daughter," I whispered.

He nodded wiping at my eyes again, "Promise, that whenever I'm old and dying that you'll take care of me, even if you are married to Aaron, and I'm just this perverted old man, just…I don't have a family, and my friends will try, but they'll smother me, I want you at my death bed," he said in all seriousness his eyes not wavering at all.

It was at that moment that I legit realized Paul loved me, those weren't just words, when he offered for me to live here the rest of my life he meant it, "I promise, and I expect the same from you, Aaron will smother me, I want you there, to not take my BS," I smiled slightly.

He grinned wiping at my eyes, "Thank you for sharing with me, and promising me that, I know you don't love me, you blame me for everything that has happened to you in the past four years, I know that, but the fact you put that aside and are willing to tolerate me is enough," he told me which of course made me start crying all over again.

"All that flew out the window since you greeted me when I drove up. None of it is your fault, you got my sister pregnant, my parents drove her insane, she didn't want the baby, I forced her to keep it, she was unable to deal with it, she's the one who left Ari, all you did was get her pregnant, which ended up giving me the greatest joy in my life," I whispered and as I spoke I realized how true it all was, "I don't blame you anymore, honestly I should thank you," I whispered.

He shook his head at me, "You don't have to feel bad, Jazz, I heard you and Emily," he said seriously.

I shook my head, "That was then, this is now, I've blamed you for so long with my problems, just because I didn't want to deal with them, but because of you, my life is finally starting to play out where I have to deal with my own issues. If we hadn't gotten in that fight last night, I wouldn't have called Aaron, something that I have wanted to do for two years. No matter how it plays out in the end, I can know that I got the closure I needed and that we broke up because it wasn't meant to be, not because I did it for Ari. You call me out for mistakes, but don't judge me for them. That's more than I've ever known. So yes I do love you Paul, as twisted and weird is that is. I adore you for being an ass hole and challenging me constantly. You don't take my crap, and I've needed someone like that in my life for a LONG time, not someone who just makes it better, or someone who tells me what to do, someone who just listens and says that sucks but you still have to make a decision," I ranted.

He smiled at me, "I'm pretty good at being an ass hole," he agreed and I couldn't help but laugh and leaned my head on his shoulder.

"God puts every person in your life for a reason, and the actions that play out with each one may hurt you, but they make you the person you are meant to be, and he gave us free will which ultimately gives us the choice of who we want to be, I have no doubt you were meant to impregnate my sister so that you and I could have the joy of Ari, every baby is a blessing and gift from God, it's the way the parents handle that gift that makes the choice on what path they and the child will be taken on until the child is old enough to choose for themselves," I told him getting all philosophical.

"That's deep," Paul said and I couldn't help but laugh.

"While we're all yucky and snotty, I'll go ahead and put it out here, I had a horrible home life growing up, and Emily told me yours wasn't so great either, just know that if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here to listen, okay?" I told him.

He nodded against my head and kissed my nose shocking me, "I'm not ready yet, I've never talked to anyone about it, Emily only knows because Sam told her because he did some digging on why I was such an angry person, but I will tell you when I'm ready," he told me.

I smiled, "Okay," I told him taking his hand and squeezing it noticing how warm his hands were, which made me realize how cold I was. "Wow, your really hot," I said moving closer to him.

"Why thank you," he joked and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I mean temperature wise, but you don't have bad looks, because Ari is gorgeous and she certainly didn't get it from her mother's side of the family, even though her mother got all the looks," I joked.

"Not true, you're gorgeous, Ari got good genes, but I will agree and say I'm gorgeous as well," he grinned at me.

I wrinkled my nose as him before shivering and moving closer to him, "You're cold aren't you?" he asked.

"Yes, yes I am," I replied burying my nose close to his armpit which was totally weird but he was SO warm and I was legitimately freezing.

He chuckled, "We don't we go inside and have hot chocolate?" he offered.

"Yes please," I said as we stood up and I didn't move from his side as I was legitimately and ice cube and felt like an idiot for not realizing I was so cold.

"Geez, you could have told me you were freezing sooner," he told me taking my hands in his and trying to warm them up.

"I d-didn't n-notice," I told him honestly and he chuckled and ruffled my already messed up hair as we walked inside which made me realize I hadn't even asked about Ari.

"Where's my baby?" I asked him.

"Inside with her bestest friend, Seth's been hogging her all day, it's kind of unfair," he said pouting.

I chuckled, "I feel that on a spiritual level, at first I totally thought he had a thing for me, and he was totally cute, then I realized he was just flirting with me to get to Ari," I joked and Paul laughed.

"I told you I didn't like him hanging around her," he teased.

"Yeah, but we have a babysitter constantly so that's a plus, but sometimes I want my baby to cuddle with me, and now I'm vying for her attention with you and him," I joked.

"We're just warmer, and she chooses Seth over me, if it makes you feel better," I told him.

"We're both sloppy seconds," I joked as I sat down at the kitchen table and he grabbed a blanket from the couch and wrapped it around me as he started to make the hot chocolate.

"Basically, I say we kick him out and not give him hot chocolate," Paul offered.

I giggled, "Sounds good to me," I said.

"SETH! TIME TO LEAVE WE WANT FAMILY TIME!" Paul shouted which resulted in Seth walking out of Ari's room with her.

Ari squealed when she saw me and jumped out of Seth's arm with his allowance and raced over to me. "MOMMA! MOMMA!" she shouted jumping in my arms.

I hugged her tightly against me in my cocoon of blankets Paul had made me. "I missed you," she told me kissing me on the lips.

"I missed you too, baby, so much," I told her and she snuggled into my bosom. I sighed, I had missed this, her excited to see me when I came home from work.

"You're not going to kick me out yet are you, Jazzy?" Seth asked.

"Yes, you've been hogging my baby from me, I'd appreciate if you left and gave Paul and I some time with her, you can come back tomorrow afternoon after 3," I told him seriously, he pouted but nodded walking over and kissing Ari on the head.

"I love you babe, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" he asked.

"Love you too Sethie," she said kissing his cheek before burying her head in my chest which gave me a huge satisfaction as he pouted that she didn't throw a tantrum this time before walking out the door.

"Score, you outdid Seth," Paul joked holding out a hand for a high five and I laughed high fiving him.

"I've never felt more loved in my life," I joked.

Paul grinned setting a hot chocolate down for Ari, himself, and I. As the three of us sipped on our hot chocolate, for the first time I felt like we were actually a family, like Paul and I were some married couple with their three year old daughter having an evening snack. We ended the night watching Beauty and the Beast with Ari snuggled between us. I ended up resting my head on Paul's shoulder the entire movie and I wasn't going to lie it felt kind of great knowing Paul was going to be the one constant in my life with Ari and we had talked everything out. After today, I knew I could trust him, but even Paul couldn't fix my problems are distract me from the hardest decision I've ever made. Should I let Aaron in again, or should I cut him out of my life for good and look to a future with Paul and Ari, which at the moment didn't seem nearly as bad of an option as it did before.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The weekend was kind of perfect it was like I was in this little fantasy world where Paul, Ari, and I were this little perfect family. Saturday was spent watching movies and cuddling on the couch, then Saturday night Seth came over allowing Paul and I to go to the diner together and continue to bond, because Seth claimed that was VERY important. Whatever Seth, you just want time alone with Ari.

Sunday was my favorite though, we flat out told Seth that he couldn't come over that day. Paul then brought Ari and I to the beach. It was honestly one of the most perfect days I had in years. Ari played in the sand, and Paul brought her in the water with him since he was so dang warm blooded. She looked so alive and happy it brought tears to my eyes.

Which brings me to where I am now, lying on the couch my head in Paul's lap as Ari was passed out on my chest. "Thank you for today," I told him as I felt him playing with my hair.

"It was kind of the perfect day wasn't it?" he asked with a smile.

I smiled back at him, "Absolutely perfect," I sighed happily grabbing his hand and playing with his fingers.

"Have you heard from Aaron? I know you are supposed to have a date tomorrow?" he asked me softly and a bit awkwardly. It was so obvious he didn't talk to girls about their guy problems. Sam and Emily were a perfect couple and that was the only girl he was REALLY friends with.

"Yeah, he texted me, he's bribing me with chocolate we are supposed to meet up at 3, at the chocolate factory," I told him.

"I'm off tomorrow, want me to drive up there with you and Ari, and drop you off, we could have like a family lunch," he offered.

I smiled at him, "You don't have to do that…" I trailed off.

"I don't like you driving there alone and back, I'd feel better if you had someone in the car with you at least, I know you're a great driver, I just know I get sleepy when I go on road trips alone…" he trailed off.

"You, Paul Lahote, are one of the biggest worry warts I've ever met," I teased him.

He pinched my nose jokingly, "I only worry because I care, besides let's do lunch, I know this little park up there I want to bring Ari to," he begged.

I pouted, "We can do that when I can go to!" I told him.

"She'll want to go back, please, don't waste my day off, I want to spend at least part of the day with my girls," he joked.

I sighed biting my lip as he gave me an adorable puppy pout that obviously Ari got from him. I groaned shoving my hand in his face, "Stop that, Ari got that from you, and its not a good habit!" I teased him as he grabbed my hand and played with my fingers instead of my hair.

"For your information, I have gotten my way many a time with that pout, especially with the ladies," he joked and I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Well it won't work on me, I've become immune thanks to Ari," I told him proudly.

"We'll see, I haven't unleashed the full power of the pout on you, that was like giving you 10%," he joked.

I made a face at him, and sighed, "You just want to see him," I accused.

"Guilty as charged," he shrugged.

"I don't care if you do, but the issue is, I don't want Ari to see him, not until I'm sure," I told him honestly.

He squeezed my hand and smoothed my hair, "Then I'll make sure she doesn't catch sight of him. We can bring Seth if we have to," he suggested.

"No, the kid's getting on my nerves, he's an Ari hog," I joked.

"I love how you call him kid, even though he's like two years younger than us, because I totally call him that too," Paul laughed.

"It's his baby face!" I giggled careful not to wake Ari.

"Definitely, but I've got this, just let me come," he begged.

"FINE! You win!" I groaned.

"YES!" he cheered fist pumping in the air, which made Ari start to fidget.

"Speaking of, may I sleep with her tonight?" he begged.

"No, you slept with her last night it's my turn," I whined.

"But I sleep better with her on my chest," he whined as well.

"So do I," I argued.

He frowned then smirked at me, "My bed is big enough for all three of us," he winked at me.

I rolled my eyes, "You mention as soon as you finish mentioning my date tomorrow," I joked.

He chuckled, "But all joking aside, I'm serious, we can just put her in the middle of us, and share," he offered.

"Paul, you may forget but we aren't a married couple," I told him.

"But we have a daughter, that we both want to cuddle with, why should one of us suffer, I respect you, and I don't think you are about to jump my bones either, so I don't see the issue," he shrugged.

I was silent thinking it over, "I don't know, I feel weird about it, honestly," I told him.

"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, but I'm just going to remind you, that we can't let her sleep with us forever, she'll get spoiled and never sleep on her own, and I only have two rooms, and I care about you and all, but I refuse to sleep on the couch every night when I have a king size bed," he told me honestly.

My eyes widened as I realized he was right, if it didn't happen now it would be sooner or later. I groaned, "I just…I don't sleep well at night, and I don't want to keep you up, and I sometimes have nightmares, and I like to cuddle," I started to ramble.

"Jazz," he said softly brushing some hair out of my face, "You're preaching to someone who deals with the same issues, there is a reason I'm such a man whore you know," he told me honestly.

I stared at him, and sighed, "You like to cuddle?" I whispered.

He nodded, "Shamelessly," he admitted.

I giggled, "You wouldn't squish our daughter trying to cuddle with me would you?" I joked.

He rolled his eyes, "Of course not, she's my cuddle buddy anyway, you can find your own," he joked.

I stuck my tongue out at him, before sighing, "Fine, but it's not going to be an every night thing, I just really want my baby next to me tonight, after such a fun day," I told him honestly looking down at her and stroking her hair.

"Trust me I get it," he said seriously leaning over and kissing her forehead.

Her eyes fluttered open, "Daddy?" she whispered.

"Yes honey?" he asked her.

"I tired," she told him.

"You want to come cuddle in bed with me and momma?" he asked her.

She nodded burying her head in my stomach, "Okay baby," he said picking her up easily from my lap allowing me to stand up and follow them to his bedroom. He pointed to my side of the bed and until I was safely laying down awkwardly he turned off the light and crawled in next to me before lying Ari in between us.

"Momma stay?" she asked me rubbing her eyes.

"Yes honey," I said caressing her cheek.

"Daddy too?" she asked.

"Always baby," he said kissing her cheek lovingly.

"I love you," she cooed adorably.

"I love you too babe," Paul and I chorused in unison before looking at each other and realized we really were a family especially in that moment.

I don't know why but I reached slightly under the blanket until I found Paul's hand and intertwined our fingers he looked at me curiously and then looked at me worriedly noticing the tears in my eyes. I shook my head no and smiled, "I just really feel like we're an actual family at this moment, I n-never thought I'd get this is all," I said softly.

He squeezed my hand, "Me either, Jazzy, me either, it's a blessing I certainly don't deserve," he told me.

I just sighed, "I love you, Paul, thanks for being here," I whispered.

"I love you, Jazz, and thank you for allowing me to be here," he retorted.

I sat up slightly leaning over and kissing his cheek, "Night Paul," I told him seriously.

He shocked me by leaning over and kissing my forehead, "Night Jazzy," he said honest emotion in his voice as he squeezed my hand. I woke up the next morning in quite the position. My head was resting against Paul's arm while my hand was still intertwined with his while his other arm was wrapped around me, along with our legs completely intertwined while Ari lay sprawled across Paul's chest with our connecting hands meeting in the middle of her back to cuddle her. If I had a camera I would take a picture because it was the epitome of the morning I had always dreamed of with my husband and daughter, and even though Paul wasn't my husband, he was the perfect substitute.

"Morning," he mumbled sleepily at me making me realize he was awake.

"Morning," I yawned.

"What time is it?" he asked me and I lifted my head slightly to see the clock. "10," I replied.

"We should get up, if we want to get lunch in Seattle," he told me.

I groaned slightly burying my nose in my pillow until realizing that was still Paul's arm, which made me blush and him chuckle. "You know it's creepy to stare at someone until they wake up," I retorted even though I knew it was because if he moved he'd wake someone.

"Yeah, well you're beautiful so it's kind of hard not to stare," he winked at me playfully.

I rolled my eyes, cheesy, "Whatever, Paul Lahote," I joked and he smiled while I sat up groaning slightly letting go of his hand and stretching like a cat as I untangled our limbs which resulted in him chuckling at me as he gently woke up Ari before sitting up with her rubbing her eyes.

"Morning," she said sleepily.

"Morning, angel," I cooed leaning over and kissing her nose.

She smiled at me, "I sleep good," she told me seriously while leaning against Paul.

"I'm glad," I told her.

"We're going on a daddy and Ari adventure today!" he told me.

I smiled really wide at the way he said that and how her eyes grew huge, "REALLY!?" she asked excitedly.

"Yep! Momma is going to go with us to eat and then we are dropping her off to do boring momma things while we go to the coolest park in the world!" he said excitedly.

Ari gasped excitedly, "YAY! YAY! YAY! LETS GO! LETS GO! LETS GOOO!" she squealed trying to drag him out of the bed.

"Chill little monster, we have to get you ready first!" I told her stealing her from him and carrying her to the bathroom while she was unusually wiggly today.

"You excited?" I teased her.

"YES! YES! YES!" she said clapping her hands as she squealed and I was suddenly really glad Paul convinced me to let them come.

We finished getting ready quickly while I dressed cutely in jeans and a sweater. Paul wolf whistled at us for good measure, which earned him a whack on the head from me, and giggles from Ari. We went in his truck since he had recently got a car seat for Ari. He legitimately plugged in his phone and put on Disney Pandora, which he had apparently added 'just for Ari'. I didn't fully believe him though.

We reached Seattle around 12:30 thanks to Paul's speedy driving. Paul claimed to know the place that had the best burgers in the world for under 10 bucks, so we went there, and he was right, they were outrageously good, and the money thing was probably good because Paul ate four….and the rest of Ari and my one. He paid for us claiming it was his treat, which I may have argued about with him for about 30 minutes but whatever. We then went into this big toy store Paul said was mega awesome as well, and let Ari play for about an hour before it was nearly time for me to meet Aaron.

"Ari, we have to drop momma off, so we can have our daddy daughter adventure," Paul told her.

"I wanna stay here," Ari whined.

Paul gave me a look that said help, and I leaned down and said, "Ari, we have to go now, Paul is going to bring you on an adventure and if you want to come back then we will come back later okay?" I asked her squatting eye level with her.

She huffed but grabbed a huge teddy bear, "I want Joey," she told Paul knowing better than to ask me.

"You don't need another teddy bear, Ari," I said sternly.

"I want Joey," she said a bit louder to Paul once again.

He gave me a pleading look, but I didn't back down, "Ari, you can't have him, put him down," I said sternly.

"How much is he?" Paul asked not helping looking at the tag.

"I WANT JOEY!" Ari screamed making people look at us.

Ari then started to have a tantrum as I told her she couldn't have the sixty dollar bear mind you. Until Paul grabbed the bear from her and bought it causing me to loudly hiss at him in the check up line while Ari grinned from ear to ear.

"If you give her everything she wants, she'll be a spoiled brat," I told him angrily.

"I'm the daddy, I'm going to give in sometimes," he shrugged.

I hmphed, "I'm not being the hard ass 24/7 just so you know, you need to seriously learn how to discipline her, you just spent 60 bucks on a stuffed bear," I grumbled.

"A very cute stuffed bear, that she loves named Joey!" Paul said innocently swinging an arm around my shoulder trying to be cute. I pushed him away pretending to mad some more until we got to the chocolate factory about ten minutes late, thanks to Ari's tantrum.

I started to get out of the truck as soon as I saw him, and Paul shockingly got out too, "What are you doing?" I hissed at him.

"Meeting him," he whispered back.

My eyes widened and gave Paul a giant push to get back in the car, "HELL NO!" I whisper shouted at him.

"Why not?" Paul whined.

"You can meet him when Ari does," I argued.

"But you said I could meet him!" he whined.

"I said you could see him! Now get back in the car," I said giving a giant push to his chest, which made me topple over luckily, Paul caught me before I legit cracked my skull on the concrete.

"You okay?" he asked.

I huffed nodding, "Yes," I grumbled.

"Fine, I won't meet him, but at least point him out to me," he pleaded.

I sighed, "The guy with the blonde curly hair, bright blue eyes, and a bouquet of those dumb roses I told him not to bring," I mumbled.

"He's okay, I guess, I'm better looking," Paul said shrugging. I gave him a playful shove at that and he just smirked.

"Shut up, and get in the car you saw him in," I pleaded.

"Okay, okay, but first…" he trailed off and I groaned while he gave me a look, "You are a strong and independent woman who needs no man. You're an amazing person and never let anyone tell you differently. If you don't feel the chemistry or it working out dump him, you do not need him got it? I know it probably sounds great to you the idea of having someone who loves you and you can fall asleep next to at night, trust me I know the feeling, but do not go for this just because the idea of what he can give to you is so great. Go in there and put the past behind you and look toward the new future, and see if he can give you the new future you wanted not the future you always imagined. I love you, be safe, and don't do anything I would do," he said seriously never losing eye contact.

I tackled him in a hug kissing his cheek, "I love you too, you're amazing, that's just what I needed to hear, Paul, thank you," I told him honestly before letting go of him.

He grinned at me, "Seriously, remember you have Ari and I, you don't NEED anyone else," he said before kissing my nose.

"I'll see you later, I'll text you," I told him.

"Please do, and I expect details," he joked.

"I swear you are turning into my best girl friend, Paul," I teased him.

He shrugged, "I take what I can get, I just draw the line at painting each other's nails," he grinned.

I laughed before giving him another shove and winking at him, "Get out of here," I told him.

"Remember don't do anything I would do," he winked at me.

"I hate you," I replied.

"Love you too, babe," he shouted loudly and blew a kiss for good measure before getting in the car and beckoning for me to go.

I walked over to Aaron who picked me up and spun me around, "Hey, baby, I missed you," he said kissing my cheek.

"I missed you too," I lied not even realizing it was a lie till after I said it. I had been having so much fun with Ari and Paul I honestly hadn't missed him.

He set me down and grinned at me, "These are for you," he told me.

"I told you not to buy me flowers!" I whined like the brat I am.

"You told me that for 4 years and I never listened, why would now be any different?" he joked and I frowned Paul's words echoing in my head, 'a new future'.

"Because we aren't in college anymore, and flowers don't really matter," I said seriously.

He looked at me a bit weird, "Okay, Miss. Suddenly Serious, what crawled up your pants today?" he asked me.

"Nothing, I just don't like you wasting money on me," I replied.

"Well, I don't think anything is a waste when it comes to you," he retorted tapping my nose.

"Can we go in and get chocolate?" I begged.

"Yes," he chuckled wrapping an arm around me while I tossed the roses in the trash making sure he saw and he gave me a wounded look and I gave him a serious look that said don't mess with me.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

As we were looking around at all the different chocolates taking a few free samples, Aaron asked me, "Was that Paul who dropped you off?"

"Yeah, Ari was in the car, he was bringing her on a daddy daughter adventure to the park," I giggled.

"Oh, so um what did you tell him about us?" he asked uneasily, "And I also kind of thought you didn't get along THAT great?" he continued.

I sighed, "We kind of have been on better terms ever since after I came home that day after our date, and I kind of spilled everything to him, he's the only one who knows that we went or are even speaking again. He knows about everything, we kind of have become best friends in the past few days, which is an ideal situation, he's not that bad if he isn't screaming at me," I shrugged.

Aaron smiled weirdly, "That's good though, you both need to get along and be best friends, you'll be around each other a lot, but you guys are just friends right?" he asked almost worriedly.

I actually scoffed, "Of course, he did my sister Aaron, I can love him without having any romantic feelings for him, that's just weird, I mean I know he did stuff with my sister, gross," I said seriously.

"You just kissed his cheek, and he kissed your nose, and you don't do that with your guy friends," he told me uneasily.

"Paul's a touchy person, he likes physical touch and we're living together at the moment, he flat out told me that he respected me, he hasn't made a move on me at all, and we just kind of express ourselves to each other that way, we have a different relationship than I've ever had with anyone before, and that involves a lot of support in one another. I lean on him and he leans back, that's how it works," I told him.

"Okay, sorry, I guess I just got a bit jealous," he said with a shrug.

"Maybe I should have lied and said something was going on then," I joked.

"Oh you should have, huh?" Aaron chuckled wrapping his arm around me and started messing up my hair causing me to laugh while I squealed.

The rest of the day was a blast both of us goofing off, the problems from the beginning of the date were erased from my mind as he shoved chocolates into my mouth before heading to some strip to walk along. I got a text around 6 from Paul, **What's the plan? Ari is pooped from playing at the park, I can bring her to get fast food, but she's going to fall asleep soon after that.**

I pouted as I quickly texted him my location to pick me up, "Looks like the clock struck midnight," I sighed.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Ari is about to fall asleep," I replied.

"Oh, so do you need me to drop you off somewhere, or is that Paul guy going to come pick you up?" he asked.

"Pick me up, I just told him where we are," I replied.

"Noooo," Aaron whined pulling me against him and burying his face in my neck. "I won't let you go," he joked tickling my sides causing me to laugh.

"But I have to," I told him with a smile.

He pouted, "Next time don't bring the dad and daughter on your date huh?" he asked.

I giggled, "Paul's pretty convincing, I think he just wanted to get a good look at you," I joked.

He made a face, "Well, I'm awesome at first impressions if he just wants to meet me," he replied.

I made a horrified face at that, I knew Paul acted cool about it around me, but something about the two of them meeting terrified me. I knew Paul would give him the fifth degree, and probably not like him no matter what, because he liked being the only guy in Ari's life.

"I don't know about that," I told him.

"Why not?" he asked me.

"Because I'm not ready for the most important men in my life to meet yet," I replied.

Aaron froze, "Paul's one of the most important men in your life?" he asked soflty.

I froze as well realizing what I just said, "Is that crazy?" I whispered.

"Kind of, you hated him for so long, and then suddenly he's one of the most important men in your life?" Aaron asked me totally judging me.

I thought back to this morning waking up next to him and Ari and just feeling pure bliss, "He's Ari's father and I'm her mother, we have a bond, its not something you can just break, he's going to be in my life forever," I stated.

Aaron didn't seem to like that comment, "You know plenty of parents only talk over the phone and don't have a relationship," he stated.

I frowned getting the idea that Aaron wasn't too crazy about the idea of Paul, "I don't want that for Ari, I want her to have a mommy and daddy that love each other, I grew up with my parents always fighting, you know that," I stated a bit sourly.

"But you aren't married, Jazz, he's just the sperm donor, whoever raises her is the father, you of all people should understand that," he stated.

I frowned, "He's raising her with me, he isn't just the sperm donor anymore, I see Ari's face light up when he walks in the room, she adores him. They have a relationship with each other that I always wanted with my own father, I'm not about to take that away from her," I said knowing I was starting to sound defensive.

He recognized my tone of voice, "I know, I know, you want Ari to have the life you never had, I realize that, I guess I'm just getting jealous knowing I'm not number one in your life anymore with zero competition, a part of me wonders if you are going to fall in love with him, and ditch me," he said playing the victim card.

I rolled my eyes, "He and I don't have that type of relationship, Aaron, I told you that, it would be like cheating with the guy that was my sister's boyfriend, I'm not that type person, I couldn't do that to her memory, she was in love with him. Just because I am starting to see what she saw in him, though I wonder if she ever even saw the side I see of him. He's a great guy after you look past all his mistakes, and I do care about him and if you have a problem with that, then you know it's not a question of choosing between you and him, it's always going to be Ari, and by choosing Ari, I choose him," I stated getting mad.

"I'm not asking you to choose, I'm just used to being the only guy in your life, it's weird that you have a new confidant, or someone who Ari adores like she used to adore me. I guess I'm just mad at myself for messing up the future I had with both of you, if I hadn't messed it up, I would be her daddy figure, and I guess that bothers me that I missed that opportunity. I love you, Jazz, and sure I'm jealous of your relationship with him, because that used to be us, but I realize that I lost your trust, and I have to work up to it, and I'm willing to do that," he stated knowing the words that would cure my anger.

I was silent unsure of what to say, his words didn't cure my anger like they did before, I thought about how Paul shouted back and got angry too and then we'd storm off and then come back to each other, because we knew we had to, and we'd talk it out. I realized Aaron and I never did that, I would get angry and he would just walk around the situation. I thought that was how it was supposed to be, we never fought, perfect right? I was starting to think that it was an unhealthy thing, but despite my thoughts I just smiled and said, "Okay, Aaron, its new to all of us, you have no reason to be jealous, your still number one," I said and I felt so fake it hurt.

"That's what I wanted to hear," he said leaning down and kissing me. When he finished sticking his tongue down my throat, he hugged me, and asked me, "When can I see you again?" he asked.

"I'll text you," I told him not ready to set a date after figuring out some stuff about him.

"Okay, your ride is here, Paul's been standing there awhile, but we were discussing, and he motioned that he didn't want to interrupt," he said.

That only fueled to my anger, knowing that he let Paul listen to us fight. I faked a smile, "Okay, bye, Aaron," I said knowing I sounded fake.

"I know I probably should have said something," he said noticing my fake voice at last.

"It's fine, bye," I stated turning around on my heel and walking the distance to Paul hoping he hadn't heard us.

"Why'd you just stand there, Ari could have saw him," I snapped at Paul.

"She's fast asleep, Jazz, nothing to worry about," he replied softly and I could tell by the tone of voice he had heard most of our conversation.

I just groaned shaking my head, "Would you let me in the car, please?" I asked knowing I sounded annoyed.

He unlocked the car and let me in, I sighed getting in, my mood completely gone. I just groaned leaning over and burying my face in my hands. "I'm sorry I listened in, I had no idea you were having a deep discussion till I got out of the car and then I tried to get back in, and then he just motioned me to stay and I felt horrible for eavesdropping," Paul said quickly trying to damage control. I had no doubt in my mind that he was the innocent party though, who would want to listen to someone bad mouth the other. I felt guilty that I hadn't fought harder for his sake.

I just sighed letting out a groan, "I'm not upset with you Paul, I'm just frustrated with myself and more so Aaron mostly," I told him honestly.

"Didn't seem too upset," Paul mumbled under his breath obviously meaning for me to hear that.

"Please don't make me feel worse, I already feel bad enough you had to hear that argument, you know I care about you and I'm not going to let Aaron change my mind," I told him feeling like I was about to cry for upsetting Paul.

"I thought I did, but then you let him walk all over you, where was that girl who took up for herself and knows how to hold her own in a fight?" he asked a bit angrily at me.

The tears started to flow at that point, "I'm sorry, Paul, I said I'm sorry," I told him wiping at my eyes and looking out the window.

He groaned, "No I'm sorry, I shouldn't yell at you, for how you act with your boyfriend, that's your business," he said the guilt for making me cry in his voice, but bitterness still there.

"He's not my boyfriend," I snapped shocking myself at how quickly I said that.

I saw Paul looking at me surprised from his reflection in the window, and I immediately backtracked, "I mean we aren't official or anything yet," I said quickly.

"You weren't kissing him like you weren't official or anything yet," he mocked me.

I turned around and glared at him, "Paul, you are pushing my buttons, I'm already in a bad mood, and I really don't want to take it out on you," I warned him.

"But our fights are so fun," he retorted and it almost made me smile reminding myself how our fights kind of were fun.

"I see that smile," he teased which made it appear more.

"Shut up," I grumbled, "I'm mad at you and the world," I joked.

"I thought you weren't mad at me," he continued.

"That was before you started pushing my buttons," I replied haughtily and he chuckled.

"Well then," he joked smiling at me and I couldn't help but smile a bit back.

"Thanks, Paul," I told him seriously.

"My pleasure, though I do expect a full story in a little while," he told me.

"Which could include a fight…." I trailed off.

"And Ari is sleeping," he finished.

I nodded glad he understood. That was one thing about us we did get each other very well. Paul pulled into a Chick Fil A, before cautiously waking up Ari. She was not a happy camper until she saw that we were at Chick Fil A, which made her a lot happier. We ordered and waited for them to bring our food and when they did it was a girl around our age. "You're family is adorable," she cooed.

"Thanks," Paul and I answered in unison before looking at each other wide eyed.

"Jinx you owe me a coke," he said stupidly while I stuck my tongue out at him causing the girl to giggle as she passed out our food.

"How long have you been married?" she asked me.

Paul was about to retort that we weren't married and completely freak her out, "About five years," I said with a smile.

"Adorable! Finally someone who does stuff traditionally," she said happily.

"I'm a traditional gentleman, what can I say," Paul added in which made me want to laugh really hard at the thought of Paul being 'traditional'.

"Wish there were men like you in the world, where did you find him?" she asked me.

"La Push, Washington, go figure," I joked.

"Well, I might have to go snag me a gentleman myself then," she giggled, "Enjoy your meal," she said sweetly before racing off.

"So we've been married for four years huh?" Paul teased me, which I KNEW was coming.

"Yeah, too long of having to put up with you," I joked.

Paul pretended to be offended, "Well then," he laughed unable to keep his composure.

I giggled, "It's easier than telling the sob story truth, it keeps the tears at bay," I told him.

"True," he shrugged, "So wifey….are you going to eat those fries?" he asked me with a grin.

I immediately shielded my fries, "Mine," I said possessively causing him to pout.

He laughed as Ari finished what she was going to eat and gave the rest to him while I finished up my meal Ari falling asleep against my side. When we finished up I picked her up before buckling her into the car seat and hopping in the passenger side. It was silent for a few minutes before Can You Feel The Love Tonight came on the radio from his Disney Pandora.

He gasped excitedly and turned it up a bit, "This is my jam!" he told me excitedly looking like a little kid on Christmas.

I knew this would be too good not to get on video, so I pulled out Instagram and put it on video mode, as Paul started to sing at the top of his lungs the chorus, using his hand as a microphone and pointing at me for good measure having no idea I was filming him. Right when the time was about to run up he realized what I was doing, "ARE YOU FILMING ME? NO! YOU CAN'T YOU'LL RUIN MY BAD BOY REP!" he shouted just as the time went out.

I just started giggling hysterically and pulled the phone away as he reached for it quickly posting it and tagging Paul for good measure, **Daddy was having fun on the ride back to Seattle listening to Ari's music, apparently this was his JAM! **I then inserted multiple crying faces for good measure.

"I hate you!" he grumbled as he felt his phone vibrate.

"You were cute!" I cooed.

"I know I'm cute, thank you very much, so does the world, it didn't need to be acknowledged," he pouted.

"Poor baby Paul, do I need to kiss his wounded ego?" I joked.

"No, it doesn't need your kisses," he grumbled, "Jazz, I'm gonna get SO much crap from the boys," he whined.

"Oh please, the only ones that follow me are Seth, Leah, and Emily," I told him.

"Leah, is going to show EVERYONE!" he informed me.

"It was adorable, shush, here give me your phone, and I'll play some other music, since Ari's asleep," I joked and went through his Pandora till I found a Grease playlist and put it on.

"No more videos right," he asked.

"None on Insta, promise, I may put one on Snapchat, but I'm not friends with any of your friends there," I promised.

"Fair enough," he said then started to sing Grease Lightning with me before it changed to You're The One I Want in which I videoed us on SnapChat for good measure both of us going all out.

Then began the beginning chords of Breaking Free from High School Musical. "What the hell, this isn't Grease," Paul whined.

"I know, Pandora's a liar," I asked trying to act cool and hide my obsession.

Then the beginning lines started, and Paul started to sing the lyrics softly and I pretended not to notice until Gabriella's lines came up and I started to sing them softly and we continued the soft pattern till the chorus where we then started to sing at the top of our lungs all boundaries crossed.

"MOMMY AND DADDY! SHHHHH!" Ari suddenly screamed from the back shocking us both mid "BREAKING FRREEEEE!"

We both muttered an embarrassed "Sorry," that our three year old daughter just told us to shush while we were singing High School Musical. Then the sad part was, we kept whispering the lyrics to each other for the rest of the song and when it ended we had our hands connected and then put them down embarrassed.

"Never speak of this to anyone!" he whispered.

"Never," I agreed in unison, and that is how Breaking Free became Paul and I's song.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

A few nights ago, after much pleading from Paul, I finally told him about Aaron and I's date. His response was simple, "Dump him, if you have doubts, he's not worth it!"

My argument was, "I always have doubts on everything I do, I can't just dump him because I get cold feet!"

He asked me then, "But is it cold feet or God telling you that he's not the one you should be with?"

I then got angry because Paul wasn't even religious, but he knew I was and was using God against me, "He's the only one who's wanted to be with me, and the only one I've ever been with, it's my last chance," I revealed immediately regretting letting my insecurities show.

Paul immediately took charge of that comment, "You're last chance, that's bullshit, Jazz, do not be with him just because you think he's the only chance you have, you're a gorgeous girl and any guy would be lucky to have you!"

"Oh and where am I going to find another guy, Paul, because I obviously have guys knocking on the front door waiting to date a girl raising a child that is actually her niece, with all the luggage I have!" I argued.

"Plenty of guys would look past that, you just have to find the right one," Paul argued softly, and that's how the next month went.

I'd go out with Aaron, and come home having major doubts because Aaron didn't like the idea of Paul and I being best friends because he was jealous. We'd get in a 'fight', or rather I'd yell at him, and he'd walk around the subject and I'd come home angry and Paul would tell me to dump him.

It wasn't that simple, despite all my doubts I was falling for Aaron again, and I wasn't ready to let someone go that made me feel loved and beautiful. No one else made me feel that way, but Aaron. Paul couldn't understand that.

So here we were, Aaron had finally convinced me to let him meet Paul and Ari, so he had driven to La Push and was going to meet them before we all went over to Emily's for dinner and probably karaoke or a movie as that is what it pretty much always was.

I had been fidgety all day which Paul caught on to, which was a bad thing since I hadn't exactly told him that I was bringing Aaron tonight…because he would have flipped out and said it was only 'pack' allowed, which is what they all called their 'group'. I had gotten permission from Emily, so it wasn't like he could tell me that he wasn't allowed at EMILY'S house.

Around 5, I got a text that he was here and I ran to open the door, "Hey," I whispered as he leaned over and kissed my lips.

"You look beautiful," he told me as he kissed me again.

I giggled, "Thanks, you look nice yourself," I told him.

"Thanks," he replied with a grin just as Paul walked out of his room from changing and I thanked God, that Seth was over playing with Ari at the moment, so we could get Paul and Aaron's intro over with first.

He legitimately froze the minute he saw him, and sent me the ugliest look I had ever seen him give me, he was mad, actually worse than mad, he was furious. I giggled cautiously, "Paul, this is Aaron, Aaron, this is Paul," I introduced weakly.

Aaron put a fake smile on his face not liking Paul anymore than Paul liked him, "Pleasure to meet you at last, I've heard many wonderful things about you," Aaron said holding out his hand to shake.

"Wish I could say the same," Paul retorted ignoring the handshake before turning to me, "What the hell is he doing here?" he snapped at me.

"Emily said I could bring him to dinner tonight," I said calmly.

"And you didn't think you should mention it to me?" he asked angrily.

"No, because I knew you would react just like this," I replied evenly.

He huffed, "Ari and I are going in a separate car," he told me.

"I want Ari to see him," I argued.

Paul gave me the ugliest look I had ever seen him give anyone, including Seth… and he gave very ugly looks to Seth if he hogged Ari too long. "Is ARI ready for that?" he snapped and I took a step back angry he pulled that card.

"We won't know until we ask won't we?" I returned before shouting, "SETH! BRING ARI OUT HERE FOR A MINUTE!"

He arrived Ari in his arms, and a bright smile on his face, "This must be Aaron, it's a pleasure to meet you man! I'm Seth," Seth said walking forward to shake his hand being friendly.

"Pleasure!" Aaron said politely though mostly staring at Ari.

Ari though unfortunately did not look pleased to see him, "Hi Ari, do you remember me?" Aaron asked getting eye level with her.

"I no like you!" she said angrily before turning around in Seth's arms and hiding her face in his neck.

Seth looked surprised and gave me a sympathetic look, while Paul looked proud, and Aaron looked heartbroken. "Ari, honey…" I started to plead.

"He make you cry, I no like him!" she told me and that was the end of the story I could tell.

"Ari doesn't want him here," Paul said smartly.

"Did you brainwash her?" I snapped at him.

"I honestly didn't say a word," he retorted sounding offended I would suggest such a thing.

"It's okay, Jazz," Aaron offered, but I could tell he was panicked. Ari didn't accept him, which meant practically the kiss of death for our relationship.

"We'll work on her, you'll win her over," I told him sweetly.

"I sure will, she loved me once, she'll love me again, speaking of, hey Ari, look what I got you?" he asked reaching behind him to pull out a small teddy bear.

Ari looked at it bored, "Daddy bought me big teddy," she said before hiding in Seth's neck again.

Paul had the biggest smug smirk on his face I had ever seen, while Aaron looked utterly pissed, and that was how the night started. We went over to Emily's in separate cars, and everyone but Emily kind of looked pissed to see him there, and I kept hearing remarks like 'he's not part of the pack' or 'poor Paul' or the worst 'Paul must be heartbroken.'

It was no secret that everyone in the pack wanted Paul and I to date, get married, and have more children that look like Ari. Paul and I were used to the perverted comments toward us, but he had promised me that they hadn't gotten those ideas from him, and I believed him, he had shown no signs of wanting a relationship with me other than what we had now.

The night was mega awkward to say the least, Seth and Emily were the only ones even civil to Aaron, the rest were just plain rude, even sweet Kim who didn't have a bad word toward anyone. "They want you with him," Aaron said mega annoyed with me.

"It's this idea they have, Paul and I can't do anything about it," I told him.

"I think Paul had a LOT to do with it," he grumbled angrily.

Paul just smirked across the room as if he had even heard the comment. Paul hadn't spoken one word to Aaron all night despite his sentence to him at the door. He was acting as if he didn't exist. He continued to talk to me like it was just Ari and us and that was really pissing me off. He was acting like a jealous boyfriend, and he had NO right to act like that.

It ended up being a karaoke night, in which Aaron and I brought down the house singing A Whole New World being all cute and stuff, and then about four duets later Ari did a major no-no.

"DADDY! WILL YOU AND MOMMA SING _BREAKING FREE_ LIKE YOU SING ALL THE TIME AT HOME!" she whined.

Paul on one hand looked panicked, as he NEVER sang karaoke here, let alone a High School Musical song. "Come on Paul, sing _Breaking Free_, like you sing ALL the time at home!" Jared taunted.

"Paul doesn't sing at karaoke night," I tried for Paul's sake, which surprisingly seemed to piss him off.

"Sure honey, I'd love to," Paul said before kissing Ari's head and standing up grabbing a mic while I just stared at him shocked, I had begged him multiple times to sing with me, and he never would saying he had an image to uphold and would sing when it was just us whenever I wanted.

I grabbed a mic as well before standing up with him. He grabbed my hand and whispered in my ear, "Let's show them how it's done, and give the show just like we used to do at home!"

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my cheeks despite the fact that Aaron was sitting only feet away from us, and that Paul and I were in a fight at the moment.

"No boundaries?" I whispered.

"No boundaries," he said smirking at me and I nodded.

The music started and we faced each other and I made myself look nervous as I just stared into his eyes just as the movie did while he started to sing doing the hand motions with it just like the movie. We were nerds I know. I started singing and took his hand slowly. I then slid my hand away and waffled his other hand as we turned to face our audience who were cheering for us loudly.

We walked and Paul sang all serious like, "You know the world can see us, in a way that's different than who we are."

I then turned to look at him and started to separate our hands, "Creating space between us, 'til we're separate hearts."

We then stared into each other's eyes and started to smile as we sang in harmony, "But your faith it gives me strength, strength to believe…." Then Paul broke out loudly starting to let his barriers down and started to dance like Troy.

"WE'RE BREAKING FREE!" he sang loudly.

Before I giggled singing "We're soarin!"

Then he faced the audience and moved his hand to motion flying, "Flyin!" he sang.

We then met each other's eyes again and just started to jam while Paul kind of threw off his shirt so I could put it on for the next part and could take it off. I ignored the wolf whistles as I threw on his shirt that went to my knees.

He then started to jam alone as he started to sing, "Can you feel it building, like a wave the ocean just can't control," and then I started creep closer as I threw his shirt at him for good measure as I took it off and sang, "Connected by a feeling, ohhh in our very souls," starting to get down.

He then mocked me singing, "Oohh in our very souls, ohhh," pretending to be cold like Troy did.

We then started to walk toward each other as we danced singing in harmony, "Rising till it lifts us up, so every one can see…"

Paul then fist pumped as he sang, "We're breaking free!"

And I started to spin as he danced around me, "We're soarin'!" I sang.

"Flyin'," he continued.

We then started to dance with each other him twirling me around a bit even though that wasn't how the music video went as we sang the chorus and the next verse. Then we ran over to Ari as Paul picked her up spinning her around pretending she was Kelsey and started to dance with her, "More than hope, more than faith," he sang.

"THIS IS TRUE! THIS IS FAITH! AND TOGHETER…" I sang tapping her nose.

"WE SEE IT COMING!" we sang in harmony before Paul set her back down on Seth's lap and started to shimmy at me.

"More than you, more than me," he sang.

"Not a want, but a need!" I sang back before he grabbed my hand and pulled me back toward the middle.

"Both of us breaking freeee!" we sang in harmony again.

He then spun me and I kept spinning as I sang, "Soarin'!"

Then he sang back "FLYIN!"

We then just started to dance around each other as we sang the chorus again. Then it started to slow down and Paul grabbed my hand and we stared into each other's eyes and I was hypnotized and not focusing on the moves at all, just at how close Paul and I were, and how easy it would be to push our lips together as we sang the last line in unison I started to lean in unconsciously.

Thank God, Paul didn't notice because he just pecked my cheek and then lifted me up in a tight hug and began to spin me around causing me to giggle as I played the leaning in to kiss him off as just playing the part of Gabriella and Troy.

Everyone was cheering and wolf whistling, while Ari was the loudest of them all. Paul pecked my cheek again before whispering in my ear, "Aaron can only wish to have our chemistry!" which of course completely ruined the moment.

He set me down before I could yell at him and went and grabbed Ari spinning her around before he sat down all innocent like.

I sighed shaking my head before going to sit with Aaron again, which I now noticed looked utterly pissed. He didn't say anything though and just sat there as a few other people sang, before he told me that he needed to go, and he'd appreciate it if I walked him out.

I nodded and followed him outside to his car where the walk was completely silent. "You nearly kissed him," he growled at me.

"It was part of the roles we were playing!" I argued.

"If he hadn't kissed your cheek instead, you would have kissed him," he argued.

"It was just…." I tried.

"God, I'm such an idiot, I thought he was the problem, but obviously it's you! You're the one who can't have someone tell you that you're beautiful and loved, without falling in love with them, I'm not special, I just told you what you wanted to hear!" he screamed at me.

That pissed me off, "THAT'S NOT TRUE!" I screamed at him.

"Oh really?" he snapped at me, "Then tell me, what guy besides me tells you that you're amazing, and that he loves you huh?" he snapped.

"P-…" I started to argue but then stopped because I was just proving his point.

"You fell right into his little playboy trap!" he growled.

"He fucked my sister! I would NEVER date him! I don't care if I was fucking in love with him! I would NOT date him out of respect for my sister! Do you want me to lie and say that we're having sex and making out while watching Ari, because we aren't? Most of the time we are entertaining her and talking about how we can make life better for her. Do we ever talk about us as well? Yes, because guess what he's my BEST friend, I talk about stuff with him that I don't talk about with other people, because he doesn't JUDGE me. I can tell him absolutely fucking anything and I know he'll listen and tell me it'll be all right. So you're right I do love him, and he does tell me I'm beautiful and that he loves me, because guess what? We're best friends!" I screamed at him.

"THAT GUY IS FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU! HE DOESN'T SEE IT AS YOU'RE BEST FRIENDS! ARE YOU THAT STUPID!?" Aaron screamed at me for the first time ever.

"YOU ARE SUCH A BABY! THE FIRST TIME THERE IS ANY GUY IN MY LIFE BESIDES YOU THAT I CARE ABOUT YOU FLIP OUT! YOU ARE THE ONE WHO DOESN'T TRUST ME! YOU ARE THE ONE WHO FUCKING CHEATED ON ME WHEN WE WERE ABOUT TO GET FUCKING MARRIED!" I screamed and he took a step back shocked.

"I love you, and I'm sorry, I just…it's hard because I know you don't trust me and then there is this guy there 24/7 that tell you that you are beautiful and that he loves you that hasn't messed things up with you," he started to backtrack just like he always did and that was the breaking point. He can never finish a fight.

"And once again you just walk away from a fight, maybe you need to figure out if I'm worth fighting for, because right now, I don't think you are," I told him bluntly.

He looked horrified, "But I love you…" he stated.

"And I love you, but if you can't deal with the fact that I love Paul too, then I don't see how we can ever be in a relationship," I told him angrily.

"I'll deal with it, he just doesn't make it easy," he started.

"He fucking thinks you're trying to steal Ari and I away from him, of course he doesn't!" I defended Paul.

He was silent, "I think we both need some time away for a bit, will you call me when you want to go out again?" he asked me.

"What if I don't want to go out again?" I asked stubbornly.

He grabbed me and kissed me making me forget about our fight, "I'll call you Friday," he told me before getting in his truck and driving away.

I immediately burst into tears as I walked to the end of the driveway and just sat down pulling my knees to my chest and started crying. I loved Aaron, I knew that, why was he making it so hard on me. Sure, I might have a small crush on Paul, but it's not like anything would happen. I wouldn't betray my sister that way no matter if I wanted to or not. Paul was the epitome of a bad boy the type that I always had been attracted to, but could never have… I never even had a friendship with one, and Paul and I talked about stuff. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't attracted to him, but again nothing would happen.

I sat out there for a while longer before I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and somebody sit down next to me, "I'm sorry for being an ass," he whispered as he wrapped an arm around me and even though he was the reason for most of my tears I curled into his chest and just cried.

"You really are an ass, Paul," I sobbed into his chest and he just hugged me letting me cry.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The next few days passed and I had distanced myself from Paul a bit having realized that I had feelings for him that I really shouldn't have. I didn't make it like majorly obvious, but I did go to sleep in Ari's bed and let him cuddle with her, because I knew cuddling with him was not good for these feelings. I also didn't lay all over him when we watched movies. I definitely had noticed that I had indeed been a bit too close to Paul while having a 'boyfriend' of sorts. I met with Aaron Friday, and we both apologized for being ass holes to one another, and we hung out at the park for the day.

It was the Monday after that Friday, that Paul had begun distancing himself even more than I had been to him, so I brought it up to him, "What's up with you? You've been acting weird!" I told him.

He looked at me and looked a bit angry that I said, "Coming from YOU!?" he snapped.

I was silent, and he looked away, "I thought it was what you wanted. You distanced yourself from me, and I thought I was helping you out," he said angrily.

"I didn't want you to do that, I just..." I trailed over before groaning burying my face in my hands.

"What?" he asked keeping his voice eerily calm.

"I didn't think it was appropriate for me to lay all over you all the time or sleep in the same bed cuddling like we do when I have a boyfriend," I said.

Paul froze and I waited for his reaction knowing it could go one of two ways, "So he's your boyfriend now," Paul said evenly.

Actually no, he asked and I said no. "Not officially, but practically," I said weakly.

"So he convinced you that you are all over me right? That I'm trying to have a relationship of some sort, you started listening…" he trailed off sounding more hurt by the second.

"NO! I just…it wasn't worth fighting about, he had no idea that I laid all over you or that we slept in the same bed, I didn't tell him that, I did that because I couldn't defend myself and you honestly if we were doing that…." I trailed off.

"So you felt like you were cheating on him," Paul stated.

"Yes, a little," I replied not mentioning the fact that my feelings for him was the main reason I felt like I was cheating on him.

"Why? We are just friends," he asked.

I shrugged acting like I didn't know, "I just do," I whispered.

He was silent, "If you want to distance yourself fine, but don't get mad when I do the same thing. I let my guard down around you, and I have respected you more than any girl I have ever met, the fact that you feel like you are cheating on a guy just by being around me, isn't on me, it's on you, but I'm not going to keep walking on egg shells around you. We can either be friends like we were before, or be acquaintances. I don't go somewhere in the middle," he stated standing up.

I wanted to cry, as I felt my heart tug as if an invisible magnet was connected to Paul. "Paul," I pleaded weakly.

He turned around and said evenly, "If Aaron makes you happy like you claim he does, this should be an easy choice, you wouldn't need me to mess around with as well. I'm not leaving Ari's life, so this isn't about her this is about you. What do you want?" he asked me.

I knew what I wanted, but what I wanted and what I could have were two different things, "You're my best friend Paul, why would you want me to choose between my best friend and boyfriend!" I asked weakly.

"I love you Jazz, that's not going to change, but I'm not going to change who I am so that your boyfriend is happy," he stated before walking out of the room.

"PAUL!" I screamed after him angrily, I heard a door slam in response.

I grabbed a pillow and screamed into it, before standing up and walking out of the house needing to go for a drive. I got in my car and began to drive. I drove for what felt like hours before I ended up at Emily and Sam's.

I groaned, knowing why god put me there. I got out and walked up to their doorstep and knocked on the door to see Emily there in her PJs, which included what I'm assuming, was Sam's shirt.

"Jazzy? You okay?" she asked seeing my tear stricken face.

"Can we go somewhere and talk, where we can't be overheard?" I pleaded.

She nodded and brought me inside handing me a box of tissues before going to change into some shorts and a smaller t-shirt before bringing me outside and hopping in the car with me, so that I could drive to the 24 hour diner in Forks.

When we got there, I was still a mess. "Jazzy, babe, talk to me," she said gently wiping at my cheeks.

That was when I spilled everything, about Aaron and I fighting about Paul, about Paul and I fighting about Aaron, and about…even my feelings toward Paul. She was the perfect friend the entire time she listened, nodded, and held my hand. "I just don't know what to do!" I sobbed wiping at my eyes.

"Okay, first, I'm going to tell you to stop crying, and take deep breaths," she said taking my hands as I attempted to do what she said after I calmed down about five minutes later she smiled at me and spoke again, "Tell me something, did your sister love Paul?" she asked.

"Yes, or she thought she did, I know she didn't know him like I know him, but she thought she did, and she's my sister…" I trailed off.

"Do you love Aaron now, not did you used to love Aaron, but do you love Aaron right now?" she asked.

I was silent for a moment thinking about it, "I think I'll always love Aaron, have I fallen in love with him like I did the first time we dated, no, but it's because I already loved him," I told her.

She stared at me for a moment as if waiting for me to catch something that I said, "Jazzy, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I think before you can worry about Paul, you need to worry about your feelings for Aaron. I know you said Paul and Ari don't like him, so you'll never marry him if Ari doesn't like him. I also know you said you weren't willing to lose Paul over him, to me it seems like your Aaron situation is already figured out, you just don't want to deal with it," she told me.

I was silent knowing she was right. "But if I'm not dating Aaron there is nothing to keep me in check with Paul," I finally whispered the truth out loud.

"And the truth comes out," she teased me and I frowned at her which caused her to laugh.

"You sound just like me," she told me.

I sighed shaking my head, "That's why I came to you, I know you loved Leah…" I trailed off.

"There is stuff you are yet to know about our boys, Jazzy, which Paul will get around to telling you, but he's just not there yet. All I can say is that Paul loves you Jazzy. He loves you more than anyone in the world besides Ari. That is HUGE for him, and it's not just because you are Ari's mother like he claims, that's his cover. He came to me that first night at my house and told me, 'Emily, she's amazing, I've never met a girl like her, this is the type of girl that I would marry, and I'm not just saying that because she's my daughter's mother figure, it's just how amazing of a person she is,'" she told me.

I stared at her surprised, "Really?" I whispered.

She nodded, "He knows you aren't interested in that type of relationship with him, so he hasn't tried anything, nor do I think he would even if you were. Paul is the type of person who fears hurting others more than hurting himself. I know that sounds insane, because of his heartbreaking ways, but its true. Paul sees it as getting some form of love because he will never deserve love, and then sends the girls away fearing he will hurt them more if he allows them to stick around. Paul's mind is a very warped place, and that argument you had tonight, do you want to hear what was going through his mind?" she whispered to me.

"I don't know Emily….should I?" I replied nervously.

She nodded at me and I sighed nodding back before she began, "I have walked on eggshells for her, I have done everything I possibly could to make her like it here, and make her want to stay. All I want is for her to stay and be happy, but most of all be happy. I thought she liked me around, and I crazily thought that I might be part of the reason she was happy, she told me she loved me, I didn't really believe it, but she said it. So I loved her the only way I know how. I cuddled her and hugged her and kissed her cheek, I'm not good with words I don't know how to use them properly, so I showed her how much I love her without words. I've never let a girl cuddle with me for more than one night and even then it wasn't like that…definitely not like her. If she doesn't want to accept my love, if she thinks its not as good as his…then that's fine. I just want her to be happy, but all I wanted was for her to stay with me and be happy," Emily spoke Paul's inner monologue which brought tears to my eyes.

"Em…" I started.

"I'm not done, to finish it off when you said you felt like you were cheating on Aaron with him….he saw it as you seeing it as you didn't think he respected you, nor did you see how much he treated you differently nor how much he cared about you that he would never do such a thing to you," she finished which of course was the finishing touch and I had to burst into tears.

"I've been so horrible to him," I sobbed.

"No…no…you are going through stuff yourself. Paul is going to be there for you whenever you're ready. He isn't going anywhere. My question for you is, why besides your sister will you not date him?" she asked.

"I'm scared I'd just be another girl, but I don't really believe that, it's mostly my sister. I'd feel like I was betraying my sister," I told her.

"And there is nothing I'm going to say that is going to convince you otherwise," she whispered.

I shook my head no, "Honestly, all I want right now is to go climb in Paul's bed with him and Ari and cuddle into his chest, Emily, that's all I want, but I can't have that, I can't let myself, because I feel like I'm betraying my sister, it has nothing to do with fucking Aaron," I sobbed.

"Are you going to dump Aaron?" she asked.

"I don't know," I cried some more.

"You know what you need to do?" she told me gently.

"What?" I asked her.

"You need to go back to Texas for a little while, just you, have some time to yourself, to think talk to your friends," she told me stroking my hair.

"I can't leave Ari," I started.

"Not for forever, like a week tops, Paul will happily watch her with Seth's help, you need to do this for you!" she told me seriously.

"Are you sure?" I asked her.

"If you don't take the time without anybody whispering in your ear what you need to do, then you will never make a decision," she told me.

I sniffled nodding, before Emily and I booked a flight to Houston on my phone for the next day before I could change my mind, it was for a week like she suggested before I dropped Emily off at about 3 AM and drove back to Paul's house. I slept in Ari's bed like I had for the past few weeks, or rather laid in bed with my eyes closed and didn't sleep because I was freezing cold and needed Paul's warmth. I'm pathetic I know. I ended up getting up extremely early and packing a light luggage as most of my clothes were still at Nathan and my house. When I exited my room with my luggage Paul froze from his place in the kitchen. "Where are you going?" he asked quickly.

"I'm going home for a week, I decided I needed some time to think and some time alone to make some important decisions, I'll be back next Sunday, I'll text you when you need to pick me up…" I told him simply.

Ari was still eating so heavily she still hadn't noticed me or my luggage, Paul immediately started to walk over to me quickly, "Look if this is about last night, we can talk it out, I'll do whatever you need me to…" he started getting panicked.

I just shook my head no, "Paul, no, last night was just the tipping point. I've needed to take some time off for a while now to sort some things out. I'll be back in a week, and hopefully I'll be making much better decisions," I told him honestly.

"I don't want you to leave," he said honestly and I could tell even though I kept repeating that I'd be back in a week, he didn't really believe me.

"I'm leaving my daughter with you, Paul, I'm coming back," I promised stepping around him and walking over to Ari.

"Hey Ari baby, I'm going on a little trip for a week, and you're going to stay with daddy. I'm going to miss you like mad, hon," I told her hugging her tightly about to start crying and regretting letting Emily talk me into this.

"I miss you too," she said unconcerned not really understanding.

I kissed her cheek my eyes watering, "Behave for daddy okay!" I begged.

"Okay!" she said smiling at me.

I quickly stood up and raced over to Paul before I chickened out, and pulled him into a tight hug, and he hugged me tightly back. "Take care of her please, I'll call you every night, and probably text you like crazy during the day," I whispered to him.

"I will," he said his voice sad.

"This is for me, okay, I'll be back, I promise you, if ANYTHING happens, please call me, I can be home very quickly, it's only a four hour flight!" I told him seriously.

"I promise," he agreed.

That was all I really needed to tell him, but I was still clinging to him not wanting to let go, and I could feel the tears starting to fall from my eyes, "I'm going to miss you," I sniffled.

"I'm going to miss you too," he said seriously his voice taut with emotion.

"I need to do this," I repeated more for myself than him.

"I love you," he told me his voice dripping in emotion, which only made me cry more.

"I love you too, Paul, I really do," I told him as I let go of him and started wiping at my eyes before I grabbed my luggage and ran to Emily's truck as I told her that I wanted her to bring me because if Paul did I wouldn't leave.

I cried the entire way to the airport and only pulled myself together once I called Nathan telling him I was coming home for a week to gather my stuff and myself. The flight was four and a half hours, and when I got there Nathan greeted me in the biggest hug in which I immediately burst into tears being the mess I am. The entire ride back home I told him everything leaving nothing out, and his solution was simple go for Paul and leave Aaron in the dust.

I told him he didn't know what it was like to have a sister in which he told me that my sister would kick my ass if she knew that was what was keeping me from him. I told him that my sister could kick my ass and I would still be in this dilemma…and I really wish she were here so she COULD kick my ass.

Nathan was the perfect BFF and stayed up practically the whole night talking with me. The next day he called in Vic and Kaylie to help him, but by that point in time I was in a slump. I didn't need anyone else telling me to go for Paul, I knew that is what I wanted to do, the problem was my sister… I know they all told me she would be fine with it, but the issue was that I wasn't fine with it. I wasn't fine being in love with the guy that ultimately had ruined my sister.

All the three of them mostly cared about was making sure I dumped Aaron, who I might have forgotten to tell I had left as he asked if I wanted to hang out tomorrow and I had to break the news that I was in Texas which he was kind of pissed about. I let him be pissed though I'd be breaking up with him when I got home. The next few days passed and I pretty much came to the conclusion I needed to break up with Aaron, but I wasn't ready to be with Paul. I had decided that we were going to have to stick with friendship for at least now. I wasn't ready and it wasn't fair to him to lead him along when I wasn't ready.

The week ended and I got on the plane MORE than ready to see Ari and Paul the minute I landed, but when I landed I was greeted with a grave looking Emily instead.

"Where's Paul?" I asked immediately panicked.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Emily immediately broke down in tears, "They were leaving to come get you about an hour ago and Ari's temperature spiked. She was immediately rushed to the hospital, she had been sick for the past few days with a bad cold, but Paul didn't want to worry you as it didn't seem like it was anything serious. He called me a few minutes ago, saying it was appendicitis, and they'd know more in a few hours.

I immediately broke down in tears and hopped in the car with Emily as she sped towards Forks Hospital breaking every speed limit on the highway we reached there in record time in about thirty minutes. I ran through those doors like a mad woman until I reached the floor Emily told me. The minute I reached the waiting area I was surprised to see Aaron there, but honestly at that moment I didn't really care as I ran at full speed toward Paul sobbing into his arms. "My baby," I sobbed clinging to him and he started sobbing as well.

He managed to fill me in that her appendix ruptured three days ago, and that's what caused the temperature spike, and that she was going into surgery as we spoke and they didn't know if she would make it. I don't think I've ever cried harder in my life. I just clung to Paul as if my life depended on it and he kept telling me he was sorry that it was his entire fault and that he should have brought her sooner. I knew better, because I knew that I would have avoided the hospital at all costs as well.

I kept assuring him that it wasn't his fault and he kept disagreeing and I knew he was going to be a lost cause until they came out and told us she was going to be okay. Which they WERE going to do! My baby Ari was GOING to be okay. There were no ifs about it. After about an hour I found the strength to get off Paul's lap and stop clinging to him and walk over to Aaron and give him a hug.

"Thank you for coming, how'd you know?" I asked.

"Paul called me said you were flying in and would want me here," he said sadly as if he believed anything but.

"I appreciate you coming, but you can go if you need to," I said not so gently.

"Okay, I get the message, let me know how it turns out," he said giving me a dirty look.

"I will," I snapped back as he left before I crawled back into Paul's lap and let him hold me tightly in his arms and stroke my hair.

"I shouldn't have left," I whispered sniffling.

"I should have brought her sooner," he sobbed into my hair once again.

"It's not your fault, Paul, you had no idea of knowing, she's going to be fine," I told him once again and he just shook his head no and clung to me tighter.

"I mess everything up, I made you leave, my friends hate me, and now I killed our daughter," he sobbed.

"You did not kill our daughter, Paul, I know for a fact you called Emily as soon as she got sick and she thought it was a cold too, I would have too, you had no way of knowing! And you are not the reason I left, Paul, that was for me not you," I stated sternly.

He just shook his head not believing me. We sat there for hours, members of the pack kept coming in and out to support us. Seth had been there since Paul had and hadn't left his seat looking as pale as Paul and I did. Emily brought us food and tried to force it down our throats it didn't happen. She did call, Nathan, Kaylie, Victoria, and my parents for me though telling them to pray for her.

Paul and I didn't move from that chair for hours, we just stayed there clinging to each other. "She HAS to be okay," I whispered for the umpteenth time.

"Jazz?" he whispered teary eyed.

"Paul?" I asked him.

"I don't have a great relationship with God, but….w-would you pray for her?" he whispered.

I sniffled, "I've been praying like mad, Paul, would you pray with me?" I whispered.

"I don't want to damper your prayers, he's more likely to listen to you," he told me.

I shook my head, "Do you think if you had two children you would love one less?" I asked him.

He shook his head no, "Then pray with me," I begged.

"I don't know how," he whispered.

"Take my hands," I provided and he took my hands squeezing them tightly in his as I began to pray.

"Lord, please don't take our baby girl, please let her stay with us. W-we don't know what we would do without her. She has brought so much joy into both of our lives. I just…" I started crying, "I know I have done so much wrong, but please don't make her suffer, she's only three, she….she has so much more to do," I sobbed before looking at Paul as if wanting him to continue.

"Ari is my everything, she's the reason I wake up in the morning. I don't know where I'd be without her. The moment I saw her, that was the first taste of happiness I ever felt. She brings so much joy and she brought Jazz, and they have become my reasons for living. Please don't take her away from us. I know I have been a horrible person, I have followed in my father's footsteps by sleeping with girls and hurting people. I know I'm not pleasant to be around, but I promise if you just let Ari live, I'll…..I'll be a better person. I'll be the best dad in the world to her, and I won't sleep with another girl unless we're married first. I…just let my daughter live…anyway you have to!" he pleaded tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Please lord, don't take her away from me, she's only three," Seth echoed softly and started sobbing himself.

The next hours the three of us crowded together as I prayed rosary after rosary even though they weren't Catholic, there was power in numbers. That was the worst night of my entire life, I couldn't handle it and I don't think Paul could either. The doctors weren't telling us anything, which was NOT a good sign. Finally Dr. Cullen came in with an unreadable expression on his face. "Carlisle!" Seth pleaded first as Paul and I stood up clinging to each other.

Dr. Cullen took a deep breath and looked between all three of us before sighing, "It's not good news," he whispered.

I could feel my legs give out from underneath me and Paul luckily caught me looking as white as a sheet while Seth looked worse than us all. "W-What do you mean it's not good news?" Paul whispered.

Dr. Cullen shook his head, "We did everything we could, but she flat lined, we put her in a coma so you could say your goodbyes, but there isn't much else you can do, and there isn't a chance of her waking up," he said.

I kept shaking my head no while Paul was holding onto me so tight I thought he was going to break me. "She _has _to wake up, there _has _to be something you can do!" Paul pleaded.

Dr. Cullen gave her a look, "She's too young Paul," he told him simply.

I was wailing into Paul's chest like a banshee as Seth had fallen to the floor hugging himself in the fetal position while Paul just stared blankly into space. We then went one at a time to say our goodbyes. Each of us had to be dragged from the room by a doctor. Dr. Cullen left her on life support for the next 48 hours so that we could spend that time with her. It was legitimately the most painful experience I'd ever had. Paul and I hadn't let go of each other since the moment we'd heard he was the only one keeping me from going insane and the same for him.

My parents came down as did Nathan, Victoria, and Kaylie. They were all a mess as well especially my parents and Nathan. The funeral was three days later. Everyone came and kept hugging Paul and I telling us how sorry they were. Seth hadn't been seen since they took her off life support. Leah and his mother were worried sick, but honestly I understood, I wish I could run away too. Paul and I…away from our problems away from everywhere I look reminding me of her. I broke up with Aaron over text not even caring to see him to do it. I was in such a bad place.

Most nights were spent waking up in nightmares or sobbing myself to sleep with Paul, I didn't dare sleep alone nor did he. Paul was as big of a mess as I was, if not more. He believed it was his fault, which I kept assuring him it wasn't, but I knew that for the rest of his life he'd believe it was.

Days dragged on, and everyone told us time would make it easier. That was NOT true, time made it worse. Days became routine, Paul and I would wake up in the morning and it would take us about an hour to talk each other into getting out of bed. We then would make breakfast, and get dressed, in which Paul would take his hourly run and Emily would come over and have tea with me to distract me while he was gone. He'd come home and I'd force a smile at Emily and tell her I appreciated her coming, before she'd leave and Paul would sit on the couch with me and we'd stare at the TV like we were watching it for another hour before we'd cook lunch eat, then go outside and sit on his bench swing and stare at the forest in silence. Then Emily would force us over for dinner in which we'd sit, eat, and force fake smiles for hours until it was suitable to leave in which we'd then take a shower and go to bed whispering good night to each other. In that whole day, we might say four sentences to each other. It was more the other's presence that mattered, knowing they were there.

About a month after 'the day', I got a phone call from my mother, "Jazzy? Honey, how are you?" she asked me.

"Fine," I lied.

"I know you are going through some major things, but when are you coming home?" she asked me.

I blanked at the thought, coming home? The thought hadn't even occurred to me, Paul was like my air to breathe at this point, "Coming home?" I questioned.

"Yes, you're home is here, the only reason you were going to stay in La Push was for Ari…" she trailed off.

"I can't leave Paul," I said.

"Honey, you aren't even married to him, I know you two have bonded over what happened, but….you can't impose on him forever…it's time to come home," she stated.

"Mom, Paul and I….we…we depend on each other, I can't just leave," I stated.

"It's time to move on with both of your lives, let him move on, sweetheart," she said.

I frowned, I didn't want to move on, I wanted to stay and cuddle with Paul and never leave. This was my home. "I'll call you tomorrow," I told her coldly.

"Alright, just think about it honey," she tried.

"Okay, mom," I said softly before hanging up.

She had happened to call during Paul's hourly run, so I just paced the house since Emily had to work today, and couldn't distract me, so I started on an early lunch.

When he came in he kissed the top of my head and noticed I had started on lunch, "You started lunch?" he questioned.

"I got a phone call, I needed to busy myself," I told him.

He nodded sitting down at the table waiting for me to tell him about it. I finished cooking us lunch before setting it in front of him and sat next to him, "My mom called," I told him.

He knew that was never a good thing, "What did she want?" he asked.

"She wanted to know when I was coming home," I whispered.

He legitimately froze and as if in panic grabbed my hand, "You can't leave," he begged his eyes tearing up at the thought.

I squeezed his hand back, "That's what I said, then she brought up the point that I'm imposing on you and need to let you move on with your life as well," I said softly.

He shook his head back and forth, "You are not imposing, and you are my life now," he told me honesty dripping with every word.

"I don't want to leave," I told him weakly.

"Then don't," he said seriously.

"What happened can only be an excuse for so long Paul, my mother is going to come up here and drag me back herself if I don't come back soon," I said my eyes starting to water.

"I need to show you something," he stated seriously standing up.

"What…" I started to ask when he grabbed my hand and dragged me outside to the forest.

"You've heard the legends?" he asked me.

"Of course at the bonfires," I said.

"Well, they are real, keep your eyes on mine," he told me seriously and before I could realize what he had said he had stripped down to his birthday suit.

"PAUL!" I shrieked covering my eyes.

"Calm down, I have my reasons, keep your eyes on mine, you trust me right?" he asked.

I nodded keeping my eyes on his and then he morphed into a huge wolf and I screamed bloody murder. The wolf whined in response walking towards me and nudging me with his head to look at his eyes, which I immediately recognized as Paul's.

"Paul?" I whispered shakily. It gave me a wolfy nod before nudging me once again before I pet it gently.

"G-good boy," I said shakily.

Paul then licked my face before taking a few steps back and shifting back into human Paul. "I-I need to sit down," I whispered as I leaned against a tree to keep myself sturdy.

Paul quickly pulled on his clothes and walked over to me slowly, "You okay?" he asked me.

I shook my head no, "You're a fucking wolf," I whispered in shock.

"Yeah, are you scared?" he asked me worriedly stroking my hair and grabbing my hand.

I stared at him for a moment, before I whispered, "You won't hurt me."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Paul then told me everything about being a wolf and when he had shifted it was kind of an amazing story. "Wow, so you're like a super hero," I told him.

He chuckled weakly, "I guess," he shrugged.

I leaned against him, "Why did you tell me then? I mean you being a wolf isn't exactly an excuse for me to stay…" I trailed off being the pessimistic person I had become.

"I was getting to that," he sighed.

"Okay, with being a wolf comes this thing called imprinting, it's where when a wolf looks into his soul mate's eyes he imprints her. Nothing else in the world matters, she is the gravity that holds him to Earth. All he wants is to see her happy. It can come in many forms, as a best friend, brother, or even lover," he told me.

I was starting to piece it together now, "Sam and Emily, Kim and Jared…" I started.

"Quil and Claire, Jake and Nessie….and Seth and Ari…" he whispered.

I sucked in a deep breath at that, how Seth had disappeared, "Seth…" I whispered understanding now why Paul got angry when Seth and Ari first met, why Ari had such a deep attachment to him, and why he had looked worse off than Paul and I did…when she….left.

"I know, he's the first one to lose an imprint," Paul said softly.

I shook my head tears streaming down my cheeks for him, "I hate the idea of them, but…I know he would have loved her….and…." I started to cry and Paul pulled me into a tight hug.

"But the reason for this story isn't about them," he told me gently wiping at my eyes.

I sniffled knowing what was coming next, "I…" Paul started nervously and I waited for him to tell me he imprinted me.

"I… um….well…" he tried to continue.

He then tried again and failed, as if something was keeping him from saying it, "I know what you're going to say, Paul, you can say it," I encouraged.

He took a deep breath before whispering so soft I barely heard it, "I imprinted you," he said.

I smiled at him, and reached up and stroked his face with my thumb, "Is this my excuse to stay?" I whispered.

He nodded blushing a bit, and I pulled him into a hug, "I love you too, you know, it's not a one sided thing," I told him honestly.

"But…" he started.

"That's why I went to Texas, I figured out that I was using Aaron as an excuse not to do something stupid like kiss you. I felt like I was betraying my sister, that's what I didn't say in that fight," I told him.

"Y-you love me too?" he whispered.

"Definitely, have for a while, I just…haven't been ready, but now….I feel ready, ready to start a relationship with you, ready to start a life with you," I whispered.

The way his face lit up in a smile, I knew it was a real smile, the first one I'd seen on his face since 'the day' and I knew a very similar smile was on my face, "I'd like nothing more," he replied leaning over and kissing me.

I kissed him back passionately and I actually felt happy for the first time since 'the day'. Paul and I went back to his house so we could….as Paul put it make out on his bed, after making out for who knew how long I picked up the phone and called my mom and told her simply, "Paul and I are in love, we're dating and will get married soon, we just wanted to go on a few dates before he proposed…"

She was ecstatic at the thought of me getting married before she realized it was Paul, then she wasn't so ecstatic, but I told her we'd discuss it some other day. Today was going to be just Paul and me.

We spent most of the day making out not going to lie, we'd sit down and try to start talking then either he or I would get distracted by the other's lips and would lose concentration and lean over to kiss the other….and it just went downhill from there. I had never been one to just want to make out constantly with someone, or….even make love with him, and honestly I had never even optioned doing that with Aaron until we got married, but that night when we got in bed and he kissed me goodnight, I wasn't so sure I wanted to wait till we got married and that was something I was so sure about for so long.

"Paul," I hissed at him from under the covers ten minutes after we said goodnight.

"Yeah?" he mumbled kissing my head.

I blushed we'd been dating for a total of probably 12 hours….and I was already getting nosey. "How many girls have you slept with?" I whispered softly.

He was silent, "Does it matter?" he asked nervously.

"I still love you, I just…well….was curious…." I whispered.

He sighed and I could feel him play with my hair a nervous habit he had since I started sleeping in his bed. "I don't really know," he whispered sounding a bit ashamed.

I sucked in a deep breath, that wasn't exactly the answer I wanted. "Oh," I replied.

"I haven't even kissed a girl since I laid eyes on you though," he replied softly.

That made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside at that, even though I couldn't say the same, but then again I'd never slept with anyone. "Really? No one?" I replied.

"Nope," he said shyly.

I smiled, "That makes me feel special," I told him honestly.

"Because you are special…how many guys have you slept with?" he asked me nervously.

I turned over not sure how Paul would feel about my answer. I was a virgin, and I knew he and I had very different morals, but what if he thought I was inexperienced or stupid, or what if he laughed at me…or even worse started pressuring me. I was already thinking about doing that with him after 12 hours of dating him, I would fall into those pressures way too easily and break the promise I've had since I was a little girl.

"It can't be more than me…." he joked poking my back slightly.

I shook my head no burying it in my pillow. "Come on, I was honest with you," he told me.

"You didn't give me a number," I retorted.

"Fine, 43," he whispered.

I turned around to stare at him wide-eyed, "43," I hissed.

"I'm not proud of it or anything," he said embarrassed.

"How has it not fallen off?" I joked.

He tickled me at that response, "Because I hadn't met you yet obviously," he joked kissing my cheek as I giggled, "You're turn," he told me.

"No, I'm tired, I'm going to bed," I replied rolling over and hiding under a pillow in which he grabbed me and pulled me onto his chest.

"I told, now you tell," he replied.

"I don't want to," I whined.

"Fine, okay I'll guess, so obviously that deusche Aaron, then there was probably some angry revenge sex when he cheated on you, so two, you're quite wholesome so there was probably only 5 guys in that two year time span, and I think you lost your virginity to Aaron, so my guess is 7?" he asked.

I shook my head no, "Damn, I thought I was right, am I close?" he asked.

I shook my head no, "50!" he joked knowing that wasn't it, and I shook my head no.

"Just tell me," he begged.

I sighed, "You promise you won't laugh?" I whispered shifting uncomfortably.

"I'll only laugh if you tell me that you slept with more guys than I've slept with girls, because we both know your too wholesome for that," he told me jokingly.

I sighed, and looked down at his chest and started to twirl one of his chest hairs to distract myself, "Jazzy, it's me, I have no room to judge you, I'm not going to care I promise," he told me.

I sighed, "Zero," I whispered.

He was silent and for a moment I wondered if he'd heard me, but then I knew he had to have heard me because shifter hearing and all. "Really?" he whispered softly.

I just nodded refusing to look at him, "Jazzy, look at me," he begged and I shook my head no, "Jazzy," he pleaded once more and I looked over to meet his beautiful green eyes, and was shocked to see the biggest smile on his face.

He pulled me into a kiss and I melted as I always did, when he released me a bit dazed, he whispered to me, "I'm the luckiest man alive, and I am beyond happy that I am going to be your first. I didn't even think that was a possibility, I mean I hoped silently, but I didn't think, wow, Jazzy, I'm so happy, I mean I would have been no matter what, but that just makes me even more, just wow," he whispered in my ear his voice ringing with happiness.

"Really? You aren't upset that I don't know what I'm doing or….I mean you are so experienced…" I whispered.

"Jazzy, I've had sex before, I have NEVER made love before, it's going to be a first to both of us," he told me.

"Paul, be serious please," I begged.

"I am serious! Jazz you think too much, seriously, I'm beyond thrilled," he told me pushing the hair out of my face.

"I just want to make you happy," I whispered.

He chuckled, "Jazz, you're my imprint, we're made for each other," he reminded me.

I smiled a bit at that reassurance and snuggled against him, "Thank you," I told him.

He kissed me gently, "Thank you, and Jazz?" he whispered.

"Yeah?" I asked him.

"I don't care if you rip your clothes off right here and now and jump on me, I refuse to devirginize you till our wedding night, I want to do something right," he told me honestly.

"Really now, is that a challenge?" I asked him.

His eyes grew big, "Please don't challenge me, I really want to do this, and the less temptation the better," he pleaded and I started laughing before I kissed him deeply.

"Thank you, that is kind of a promise I made to myself since I was a little girl," I told him.

"It's a beautiful promise," he told me kissing my cheek.

It was silent for a bit before I couldn't help but ask, "Paul, why did you….sleep with so many girls?"

He sighed, "I knew this was coming," he mumbled before moving me a bit so he could look at me.

"You really want to know my sob story?" he asked me.

I nodded, "Okay, fine, so I grew up in a horrible environment, my father was a drunk and he would often beat my mother who was a heroin addict, and she'd go missing for weeks at a time and when she went missing I received her daily beatings. I was twelve when she ran off for good, can't say I blame her. She wasn't very reliable to begin with. I grew up with my parents telling me they hated me and that I was the reason for their addictions, that I destroyed their life. When my mom left dad told me I was the reason she left…as I grew older I was told I was a failure at everything, that I was unlovable, and when I grew up I could expect to be just like my father, so I went to high school and my parents weren't exactly ugly so I got 'good' genes I guess you could say. Girls found me attractive, especially older girls, and I remember as a freshman losing my virginity to a senior. When she had sex with me, I felt this high that I never had before. I didn't exactly feel loved as she assured me it was just a learning experience, but…I felt happy. I continued the pattern after that always making sure to use a condom at the very least. When I shifted I was the ass hole of the pack, I was trouble. I was angry at the world, and Sam forbid me from fucking girls which was my only out for my pain. It was my stress reliever I guess you could say. After a year and I didn't imprint he gave up and that was actually when your sister happened, I had a bit too much fun with her involving a chase and everything, I regret it now, but…yeah. Anyways, after she left I went about my usual ways fucking girls often, not as often as before because I wasn't completely heartless, what if I did imprint, so it was mostly when I was just at a loss and needed an out….so yeah," he said awkwardly sounding embarrassed.

I stroked his hair slightly, "No one can blame you for that," I told him.

He gave me a weak smile, "I do, every time I look at you, I think about how all those girls meant absolutely nothing and gave them a piece of me, and they did nothing to deserve that," he told me.

I shook my head at him, "You didn't know me then," I reminded him.

"But I knew there was a chance I would someday," he said softly.

"But I wasn't there," I argued.

"I'm sorry," he replied.

"Don't be, tell me about your father…is he still alive…do you ever see him?" I asked him.

"He's alive, and as drunk as ever, one of my activities during my hourly walks is to go pick him up out of his own puke, it's going to sound so stupid after everything he's ever put me through, but I just wish that one day maybe when I laid him down in his bed after cleaning him up he'll look up at me and say, "Thank you." I don't expect an I love you and definitely not an I'm sorry. I'm not lovable, and I'm the reason he is the way he is…but…" he started and I punched his arm shutting him up.

"You are lovable, and you certainly aren't the reason he is the way he is! He did that to himself! YOU had NOTHING to do with it, Paul Lahote, you were simply a casualty in his downfall," I argued.

Paul looked at me tears in his eyes, "I know that, Jazz, I just don't believe it, there is a difference. I just I fear becoming like him, I haven't touched a bottle of alcohol, but when I lost Ari…I considered picking up the bottle to numb the pain, but then I looked at you, and I knew I couldn't. I couldn't do that to you. It would be so easy you know, I have the anger, his looks, and probably his alcohol tolerance…." he whispered.

"You are not him, Paul! All you want in life is to be loved, and I'm sorry that you were failed in the department of parents, but let me tell you this I love you enough for both of them, myself, and anyone whoever told you that you were a failure. To me you are anything but. You have proved that in this last month more than ever, you have been supporting me through this being the strength when I know you are suffering just as much as I am. You are not a failure, you are a hero," I told him seriously tearing up as I spoke.

He sniffled making me believe he was crying as he pulled me closer to him and I clung to him, "Thank you, I don't know why or how you can love me, but you do, and I will be forever thankful for that," he whispered in my ear which made me lose it of course.

"Thank you for loving me, for seeing the beauty in me that I can't see, I will be forever thankful for that," I told him.

"I do love you Jazzlyn Eileen Lansing, I love you so freaking much, I don't know what to do with all this love, you are so damn beautiful and I don't know how you can't see that, but I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to make you not only see it but believe it," he told me before kissing me.

We did not make love that night, as much as both of us wanted to, but we did fall asleep in each other's arms, knowing that despite being polar opposites like fire and rain, we were made for each other. Despite the hardships that we knew we would face in the future, and the hardship of losing our daughter we'd make it through, because you can't put out a fire without a little rain.


	15. Epilogue

Epilogue-Anonymous

I watched silently from the trees as the two older boys taunted the small little girl. "DADDY!" she screamed bloody murder as the younger of the two boys yanked at her pigtail while another held a wolf stuffed animal above her head out of reach.

A tall man came out and sighed, "TROY! AARON! STOP MESSING WITH JASMINE!" he barked at them picking the small girl up and showering her with kisses before yanking the wolf toy out of the older boys hands before whacking them both with it gently.

The girl giggled, "Daddy's princess!" the younger boy pouted mocking his father and his sister.

"PAUL! What's going on?" a woman called waddling out of the house with a swollen belly that looked like she would be popping another child out any day.

I smiled longingly at her belly knowing that I would never have the same opportunity.

"YOUR sons were messing with my princess," Paul tattled on his sons.

"DAD!" they whined in unison as the woman put her hands on her hips turning toward her husband.

"They are YOUR sons too, and despite being the little turds they are, which they totally get from you, they are still especially cute," she joked pinching their cheeks making them both groan in response.

"Exactly, they are just like me, how do you put up with me?" Paul joked.

"You're kisses make up for it, and you aren't bad looking," his wife shrugged leaning forward and kissing her husband.

"EWWWW!" all three kids groaned in unison.

"EWWW!" Paul and his wife cooed as well before Paul set Jasmine down.

"I cooked lunch, run inside little monsters!" his wife told them swatting their butts as they ran.

"We have another little monster coming though, Jazz" Paul said leaning down and kissing Jazz's pregnant belly.

"Little Gabriella," Jazz smiled.

Paul kissed her again and sighed, "Ari would be 13 next week," he told her softly.

Jazz looked down, "A teenager," she whispered her eyes welling up.

I turned around unable to listen anymore as the lump grew in my throat, from listening to what could have happened. "She'd be beautiful," I could hear Paul sniffle.

"I'd give anything to see her again," Jazz whispered.

"Yeah, me too," I whispered softly.

"Who was that?" Paul asked immediately turning around being on high alert.

Crap, he heard me. I immediately turned away and started to run full speed back toward Seattle to catch my plane before it was too late.

**HI GUYS! I KNOW YOU ARE PROBABLY REALLY UPSET WITH ME BY HOW THIS ENDED BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW! I AM WRITING A SEQUEL THAT INCLUDES SETH! SO KEEP A LOOKOUT AND YOU MAY BE SURPRISED BY THE RESULT! I LOVE YOU! ITS OKAY I PROMISE! XOXO**


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